Friday, April 15, 2005

bourbon and the l

So...this past season of the L word, and it's really going to hurt me more than it will hurt the people at the show, has been, well...blah. Some episodes have been pretty good, and there have still been some enjoyable jems of songs.

And then? There's fucking Betty. The plethora of scenes where Betty and 'ezgirl,' who is the lead singer of Betty and music composer this season, ruin a scene with the fucking background music and noises. It grates to no end. You know what else grates? The fact that she obviously has no fucking talent in that she recycles her theme song different ways for each episode. If it's crap to begin with, why do you want to continue with it? Like the the theme song sung in french during one of the dream sequences, or in spanish during the Spanish titled episode? It's heavy-handed and unimaginative. It sounds like crap, and the lyrics are crap.

If some of the storylines are going to be contrived, long-winded, and boring, then keep with the awesome music. It makes time go by much more quickly. Plus, when there is so much fucking distracting background noise it takes you out of the episode. Case in point, Jenny's sitting on the steps explaining to Carmen that she lost her job because she 'outed' herself, and can you imagine what might be playing in the background? If you guessed a voice, most likely Ms. Ziff's herself, chanting 'lesbian' over and over again, you'd win some cash. Or you know, just in case while watching a sex scene, you didn't actually quite get that these characters were having sex and you know, enjoying themselves, we'll add some moaning.

I hate you Betty. I don't care that you're hometown products. You fucking suck. Especially you Elizabeth Ziff. Yes. That's right. I'm not going to address you by your fucking 'composer' name. Oh? And why do you all keep on popping up in throwaway cameos post your actual appearance performing in the episode. Which sucked. Though, when Miss Foxy Brown Herself was singing with you all, it was pretty cool. Most likely because it wasn't your song.

Things that make slow episodes go by much more quickly? Bourbon. I love bourbon. I mean I've been a vodka girl from the get go, and I'll never leave the vodka. But pretty much any time I drink bourbon it's a fucking ecstatic buzz. I don't know how that happens. So Shortie came by yesterday to catch up on all the 'lost' episodes that I've fast-forwarded through because I was bored with them. Bourbon makes the episodes go by much quicker. As does company who you can commiserate with about the awfulness that is the music and slightly the season.

You know what else The Bourbon can do? Plot and Plan. The action? Shortie's friends with the people who work at Lambda Rising, which I coincidentally learned today was around back in the beginning of the day when GLAAD was first beginning, and the workers stood outside Lambda and begged for donations. That's pretty cool. I'm in love with GLAAD and totally want to work there in a kick ass position. I digress. The plan? We're going to place a petition by the cash register to Boot Betty and mail it to Ms. Ilene Chaiken herself. Or, you know, Showtime.

Action people. We're not going to just sit at home and complain about how awful it is!

Though...if they, and by they I mean Ms. 'I'm too Hollywood and so I broke up with my partner and quelle fucking suprise since I essentially wrote it into the script for my alter-ego' Chaiken, find out...would they have the power to take away my Showtime, and my L word? Because I know I'm not strong enough to live without them.

It's like having a coke habit (because as Ms. Houston says, crack is wack, so don't be trying that crack), you're addicted, you know it, and you don't necessarily even enjoy it that much anymore, but you have to have it. Even when I'm fast-forwarding through, I know that if I wasn't at least seeing it I'd be going through withdrawal. It's a slippery slope people.

A Fucking. Slippery. Slope.

Sign the petition people.

3 comments:

Caren said...

HAHAHAAAAA

Betty sucks!!

I've not been to Lambda Rising in what seems like FOREVER and you've now given me a VERY good reason to go.

PMF said...

You know...

I've been renting season one, and maybe cuz I already know how it ends....it's definitely not even half as fun as watching it with you.

Some of the joy is laughing at how ridiculous it is.

And I hate the music, probably only because when you leave the DVD on 'menu' for a bit it just plays over and over and over on a short loop....

Anyway, I'd sign.

I miss you!

shortie said...

ohhhh...pmf is hooked too! it's like a drug...or something like that.

but renting is good...nothing like a good marathon of the l word to help you relax after a long day...of course, it's always better with the bourbon.