ha ha ha

okay.

first? i had no idea what fucking time it was until i saw the time on the change date and time. i'm supposed to wake my sister in 45 minutes. fuck. might as well stay awake now. or just go to sleep.
NOW!

okay. so. since i have a mac, some of the awesome features of blogger, such as hyperlinking rather than putting in the full address don't work. whatevs.

this is worth it.

i believe that regular, or at least early readers of this blog will be familiar with the antipathy that i have for hilary duff.
antipathy.

the other bothersome thing was how she was going on and on about how pure and, you know, non-drinking and partying she is.

clearly, she was being compared to lindsay lohan. and i mean even i am seemingly sober compared to her.
really too bad considering she could have talent. too bad.

i'm a huge regular reader of this one blog which is pretty fucking juicy. and he just found drunken, partying photos of hilary.

it's awesome. just scroll up to check out the photos with even better photos to click on. in one you can clearly see her friend is also drinking a vodka red bull.

the best drink of the batch, but clearly not something for 17 year olds.

awesome.

without much further ado: drunk Hilary!

ew. just. ew.

The showering needs to stop.

I've been trying to motivate myself to work on one of my assignments which is infinitely more difficult considering I'm sick with no real energy of motivation.

It doesn't help that I can hear my neighbour in his shower right now grunting. With his girlfriend. Or by himself.

Ew.

I don't need to hear that. Especially right now.

EW!

Update on his looks: I got quite a few glances this weekend and past few days and he just might be a Monet. Fine body, but I don't think his face is very cute. What a shame.

i just might be going insane...

If my neighbour's heard me they might just think I was a crazy person.

Or, you know, on the phone.

I have this habit, and I do believe that I'm not the only one, where while I'm at my computer or zoning out in front of the TV or even just puttering around my apartment doing stuff that I'll have anything to actually fucking everything running through my head. I mean to the point of being all, "Why am I such an asshole?" to "That was pretty fucking embarassing,' to yeah pretty much my analysis of the day to everything.

It's the flight of ideas, though I do have to say all connected. Otherwise? Symptom of schizophrenia.

I always knew that my undergrad degree in psych would come in handy.

So here's the thing. When it gets to the point of me berating myself about something I'm later embarassed about or thinking of something embarassing or being pissed about something, and this may just be because I'm getting too used to living by myself, I have realized that I'll say it out loud.

And like really fucking loud.

Then I'll realize, wow, not only is my head constantly running about something that I shouldn't be wasting the energy on, but now? Now I fucking sound crazy too! I mean I've always done the mutter under the breath, you know the motivational, maybe it's over here and I just haven't checked yet, to a 'you can totally get this paper done in time karen' to you know mutterings of fuck and shit under the breathe. This is just a massive step further.

Awesome.

I mean, other people do do this. Right?

what scares me...

is the new virulent strain found in New York of the HIV virus that supposedly kills the host quicker than previously seen.

Scarier? The seemingly same virus strain has been found in San Diego. Across the entire fucking country.

My fear?

The Bush administration is going to use this to condemn the gay culture, and gay men. Use it as a reason to get involved in gay mens' private lives and lifestyles; something that they have no right to do.

Outspoken and recognized figures in the gay community are speaking out that they need to apply more drastic tactics to cut down the tina and the sex parties as a result. Plus the lackadaisical approach to actually getting the virus now.

Said tactics include going to sex parties and confronting users and members as well as trying to shut down websites about the sex parties and crystal use.

I say, anything that can work. Another plague is unnecessary and absolutely tragic.

Don't give the Bush administration the opportunity to get involved and make tragic rules affecting their private lives.

cbf is coming, cbf is coming!

I'm so excited I could squeel with joy, which you know, I did.

This weekend is going to be gay-tastic!

I'm still preparing a response for the fabulous weekend, but there is pressure. For as of yet unnickamed friend came to visit for the weekend. Which, you know, was the reason that it was bundles of fun.

The problem? Said friend kept on mentioning that she couldn't wait to read her nickname. Fuck. I mean, I haven't exactly been digging the mines of originality for nicknames...Stretch. Shortie? Yeah.

Pressure people. Pressure. I feel I now need to come up with an appropriately awesome nickname for said friend because she deserves one. Dammit.

Now lately CBF and I have been planning to get together, but one of us would end up cancelling due to monetary constraints. So it's never good to be excited before the plans are totally final. In fact, we've searched for this weekend three seperate times but he bought the tickets today! YAY! I've even ordered gay fuel for the weekend, which I've been dying to try. Though knowing the website where I ordered my awesome dirty! shirts from, they won't be here in time.

Nothing like spending $16 for just 5 energy drinks. Though how awesome is it that the website plays awesome queer dance club music. I'm jamming out to it right now.

The problem with being entirely ecstatic about the weekend means that it can't come soon enough. Today's only Tuesday, right?

I'm going to go home and cuddle up to my TiVo which is finally working. Thank the lord, sweet jesus! TiVo bad. Reading good. I'm going to have to TiVo everything tonight and speed through everything else.

The first thing I put on my Season Pass? The function where it will automatically record said programs any time they are on without prompting.

the L Word.

Second show? The Golden Girls.

Fucking awesome! I'm going to have to schedule my other shows and make sure they don't coincide, and rank them as well.

I'm going to fail out of grad school now.

Fuck.

happy valentine's day

I figured I needed just a post; because the other post might make me sound desperate and depressed on this day.

And, you know? Today has actually been a really good day.

I've been perky, I've been happy, I've been giggly.

I think it's because I have a phone date with CBF after class tonight. And CBF, after recieving my fabulous Valentine's card was back on the coming train for this weekend which would just fucking rock.

Giggly and perky all fucking day. Previously Grouchy Showrunner who has turned into Fabulously Friendly and Helpful Showrunner saw me doing that run down the hallway, you know that one where you're five and you aren't running to run fast but bouncing and kicking your feet up high so they almost kick your ass? He was all, ooh, dancing in the hallway. And I corrected him that I was doing a bouncy run to try and stay energized for class. He mentioned that I could just nap until class.

This place is so fucking productive.

Happy Valentine's Day and share the love with everybody on this day!!

am i trying to kill myself

I woke up at 7am this morning as if from a coma.

An alcohol coma perhaps.

So my TV was on, on mute, my lights were on, I was wearing my 'relaxing' outfit which is essentially my track pants and a shirt, and there was still shit on my bed like my backpack and letters.

As I walked to get some water out of the fridge I realized there was heat emanating from my oven. What the fuck? Why is it warm, that's weird. As I walked back and leaned closer I realized that my gas oven was on.

Fuck.

Did I turn it on last night, or has it been on for two days since I last remember using it?

What is wrong with me?

The last time something like this happened I had been out with CB and girlfriend for what started as a Guiness pub crawl and ended with the three of us. Everyone else dropped off like flies. I killed two people with my mad Irish Car Bomb skills and had had a plethora of beer.

Overall it had been an awesome evening.

It seems though that by the time I had gotten home I was hungry, quelle fucking suprise! seeing as we met straight after work and I decided to only spend my money on drinks and not food. I hate spending money on food in a bar because it's so fucking expensive and liquor is expensive enough.

I digress. So by the time I got home I decided I would make pasta. Waited for the water to boil and then put the pasta in.

The next thing I know I'm waking up, in pretty much the same way that I did this morning, lights ablaze, TV on, though with sound, and generally passed out on top of my blankets.

Except this time, there was this acrid plastic burned smell in my apartment. I started freaking out because I realized I must have left something on the burner. So I launch myself off of my bed and go skidding into the kitchen.

On my burner is the pot, with the pasta inside, congealed together and charcoal black. The bottom of the pot is completely black from the flames, as is much of the area around the pasta. The smell even stronger. I clearly turn the pot off and open the windows as fast as I can.

Nothing happening. I feel nauseous from the stench. I don't think I can do it justice how horrible it was. I prop open my door to get a draft in my apartment because there is no wind. For the first time ever of course. As soon as the pot is cool enough I bring it to the garbage disposal to toss and hopefully help get rid of the smell.

After having the door propped for 10 minutes or so, one of the handy dudes knocks on my door and is all you need to close your door because the smell is setting off the smoke alarms. I was like, oooh, okay, and seriously? Thank god, because that would have been embarassing.

Later that same day there actually is a fire alarm that goes off in my building. Of course this is bad because I essentially live in an old people's home. I mean an alarm with old people that can't really move? Why don't you just kill them right away? I of course am freaking out that it's me. CB and his girlfriend are over and I'm all, we need to walk around the corner. I'm positive that they're going to come out of the building and be all "Apartment #, Apartment #" and chastise me in front of everyone, giving me a citation for being a bad resident, and generally just be really embarassed. So I hid around the corner. Everyone was pissed too because we had to wait for like 20 minutes to get back into the building.

Turns out there really was a fire in the elevator.

Now THAT was a relief.

I couldn't get the smell out of my apartment for weeks. Or my clothes for weeks either. I smelled like I had been on a camping trip with fucking plastic as the firewood. It was fucking awful! I tried all sorts of products to get the smell out. Oust should have a fucking disclaimer saying that they can't take the smell of burn out. Oh wait. I just did that for them. It was was especially since smell is most definitely my strongest sense.

I vowed from that day on that I would never try and cook something on the burner when I was drunk.

Luckily?

An empty burning oven doesn't smell.

I guess I learned a new lesson.

it's a disease

It's like the caffeine and money Olympics! Take 2!

I have a slight gambling problem, in that once I start. I can't really stop. I mean we aren't talking spending thousands or even hundreds of dollars because I could never do that. Put me near a slot machine, and I'm fucked.

In college we would go to the Mohegan Sun reservation and gamble. One time I lost $20 in like 20 minutes. This was a considerable amount of money considering that I had about $95 for the month.

I know that it is only because there are periodic reinforcements when you'll get at least one or two quarters back, and I crave that rush of winning let's say 6, 7, or more. I long for that rush of whippeee I've won money. And clearly because it is just the slot machines I tend to randomly not do too well because I'll spend money, but not enough to ever get that big pay-off.

Plus? I'm just fucking unlucky. I went to AC, Atlantic City for those not in the know, with Stretch and another friend one weekend and they all left with surplus money while again. I was the only one who lost $20. I'm not going to lie. I was sort of pissed that Stretch won like fifty fucking dollars. What. the. Fuck?

When I go home to visit my mom I tend to have a lay-over in The Vegas, and there are of course The Slot Machines in all of the lobbies. So of course because I'm bored I'll tend to play them. Amazingly enough, last time I left with six extra dollars. Though another time I lost 10 dollars in like 10 minutes.

Pulling that damn tantalizing slot lever, or the even quicker way of spending your money, by pushing the button is just too much to resist. I also know it's because I'll never wager more than a dollar that I'm able to continue. I can rationalize those amounts in my head.

When Pepsico last year decided that you can potentially win a song when buying the 20 oz. bottles from iTunes? It was ridiculous. I would suddenly buy multiple bottles a day because I can spend my time peering from the side trying to figure out if it's a winner or not. I had, I would say about a 70% positive rate. That still meant I spent so much money on drinking fucking Pepsi. My Cranky Co-worker would often come with me to CVS to make my purchases and mock me horrendously.

Once she was done though. She'd ask, no demand, that I pick her out a winner as well. All whilst saying that I was embarassing her.

I was addicted to the rush of getting a free song. A. Free. Song.

Any. Song.

It began my iTunes obsession.

In the end I had 17 songs. I don't even want to contemplate how much extra money I spent on Diet Pepsi, nor the amount of Diet Pepsi I drank. I was actually switched from a DC lifer, Diet Coke for those not in the know, to a Diet Pepsi person.

How often do those switches happen?

Unfortunately. The promo is back.

That means I'm back to drinking multiple 20 oz. bottles a day to win a song.

Unfortunately, I believe I've lost some mojo. But. In my defense, Pepsi has switched it up some, killing my mojo. Now, there are caps with buy one get one free.

I've gotten three of those, and only 2 songs. And 2 bad seeds.

My insides are rotting with all the preservatives of fake sugars and caffeine.

Or. I'm going to die, and they won't need to embalm me because my insides will preserved for the next two years.

My teeth will most likely have rotted out though.

At least I'll have fucking awesome music for my guests to rock out to.

it's starting to hurt now

So fucking Verizon isn't sure when exactly my DSL will be ready to be turned on.

So I have my boxes of TiVo and DSL software at home, with no potential in site of when it will be turned on. It was supposed to be turned on Thursday, but through the website I saw that indeed they were very sorry, but due to unforseen circumstances, they had no idea when it was going to be turned on.

What?

The fuckers. Like they really give flying shit. They didn't even bother to email me. And the website essentially is like, we don't want to talk to you. So email us or fuck off.

Bastards.

Then when reading my instruction booklet for TiVo last night, because I figured I should at least be familiar with the hardware by the time I set it up, I noticed that I didn't have a USB cord or USB port in my fancy new wireless thingy majig.

Fuck.

So I asked my fabulously friendly Wooster boy in house about what to do. He was all, yeah you have to buy a wireless USB port adapter. What?

Dammit.

I've been looking around all day and essentially the cheapest it's going to be is $58. What the fuck people? It's now starting to really hurt how much I'm paying for all of this. Now I'm starting to think I'm a fucktard for deciding to do all of this. I mean, I could've fucking bought an iPod for sure now.

At least a mini.

I'm going to have to seriously make sure that I mail in my rebate as soon as I hook my TiVo up and get the numbers for registering it.

This TiVo thing better be worth it as well. FFWB does say that once you go TiVo you can't go back.

That better be true.

I'm going to need to live like a monk for the next couple of months.

Fuck.

Dunkin' Donuts Update: There is a Dunkin' Donuts in DC. I. Know. And it's somewhat nearby. I thought I was going to pass out from excitement. Fucking. AWESOME!

if you're as obsessed as us

There is Dunkin' Donuts love, and there is Dunkin' Donuts LOVE.

For some reason, if you went to my college, by the time you graduated you'd be obsessed with Dunkin' Donuts.

And do you know why?

Because it's fucking awesome!

Post graduation, in a world where there isn't a Dunkin's nearby, it becomes discussion fodder. When Stretch threw a dinner party one evening when we still were roomies, and essentially everyone around the table was a grad. Plus my friend's boyfriend. We had consumed copius amounts of wine and were all happy. It was after dinner and we were all discussing that it was such bullshit that they didn't have a Dunkin's in the district.

How could there be such a fucking travesty? We then told Dunkin' stories. Essentially, remember when it would 3 in the morning and you'd go to the Dunkin's and there would be the rude, mulleted lesbians with like 6 teeth total and you'd order the coffee? The large iced coffee with little ice so you can drink a gallon of coffee that will, or should keep you up at night?

Yes, those were the good days. I'm still obsessed with Dunkin's. I have some of the flavored grounds but it's just not the same. I don't know if it was the awesome hick staff that always pervaded the small ones in New England or what, but they aren't even the same in the suburbs of VA. I think it's because they aren't just Dunkin's but a chain with the sandwhich shop and 31 Flavors.

We decided that dinner party evening that we should open a Dunkin's. Clearly with the liquid loquaciousness the plan was discussed ad nauseum. It was the greatest conversation ever. My friend's boyfriend was just sitting there bored as can be as he went to school where there was no Dunkin's.

We all still love the Dunkin's and make sure to talk about it, even when some people like Stretch have constant access now. It's something to talk about. And we aren't the only ones. Because the best blog site ever has been created about Dunkin' Donuts.

Fucking awesome!

living a lifestyle i can't afford

I don't know what came over me today.

I'm probably fucked, but I'm hoping that my 'annual increase' will cover my new costs.

It's stupid. I'm having to spend an enormous amount of money in the upcoming months, and who knows still about the hospital bills from the car accident.

You know how sometimes all it takes is one small thing, like a splinter in a dam and suddenly it just splits and all the fucking water just comes pouring out and flooding a small town, leaving it in ruins.

Yeah, that's my financial ruins.

I was having lunch with co-workers and one mentioned how TiVo was going to be bought out, and then Caren busts out all, oh my brother and sister-in-law are trying to sell one. Let me know if anyone would be interested. Of course, it was just Monday where I was telling CBF that I really fucking wanted one, but that it was $300. From what my bus classmate said. She mentioned it would only be $180 with a $100 rebate. So only $80.

Of course I'm infamous for never actually filling out the rebates.

Cheaper than an immediate iPod.

So of course, I'm immediately all, I'll take it!

Of course there are more hitches in the system. A TiVo needs to update new information every evening, and my other co-worker said he didn't actually know anyone with dial-up where it worked.

Clearly, along with the montly subscription I'm now going to have to update to non-dail-up.

So. I signed up for DSL with Verizon, and they give you this deal where they give you a wireless hub for free.

FREE!!!!

This means I can now finally fucking use wireless in my apartment.

As I was bouncing around the office excited about all my new purchases, another co-worker, boobies mctit, was all, did you know a person who has TiVo watches an extra 2 hours a day?

Fuck me.

I don't have an extra 2 hours a day to watch with all of my schoolwork. Oh well.

I think the worst is going to be the internet. I'm really fucked now.

She should have been all, did you know if you have wireless DSL that you'll be spending an extra 4 hours a day on the internet?

That! Would apply to me.

I'm getting wireless and TiVo bitches!!!

Awesome!

isn't it close to impossible to kill bamboo?

Bamboo, the ultra trendy plant, or whatever it is, would seemingly be a perfect plant.

It doesn't seem to need any light, you can use it as dressing in your beta fish bowl, and you don't even need to water it that often.

I've somehow killed my bamboo.

How is that possible?

I am usually just not good with plants. I have no green thumb, though I do seem to have a death thumb, but you know I've won many a thumb wars with. Which you know, means no gangreen for me! Wooht!

I had a plant in high school which I named after my crush at the time, and rather sadly has lived longer than my crush who died two years ago from leukemia. Benjamin, and that's pronounced in the German way as Ben-ya-min, because he was German and I speak it, so you know...is actually flourishing amazingly well. The plant is taller than me now and really is like this mini tree in our dining room. I still can't believe my family moved it to Germany after graduation, but then my step-mom always did like the plant.

Essentially? The only plant that I didn't kill, and not only that, but did an awesome job in growing.

The Amazon that was doubling as a supposed house with furnishings when we first moved to DC? Didn't water the plants because I would kill them. The threat of having to pay for these expensive plants definitely kept me away.

Now I've killed the unkillable. Stretch left me her bamboo when she left town, and they were perfectly happy and flourishing. I was excited. Lovely, living decorations for free. Plus, doesn't everyone have bamboo nowadays? Stretch warned me not to overwater them. Which I was careful of.

The problem? I was in such a hung-over, frantic haze previous to leaving for break that I forgot to check the water level before I left.

I came back to brown, shriveled bamboo. There's like one stalk that is still healthy.

I've tried resuscitating them by watering them. Like plants can come back to life after death.

It's all so very sad.

I'm a fucking plant killer.