Friday, February 18, 2005

i just might be going insane...

If my neighbour's heard me they might just think I was a crazy person.

Or, you know, on the phone.

I have this habit, and I do believe that I'm not the only one, where while I'm at my computer or zoning out in front of the TV or even just puttering around my apartment doing stuff that I'll have anything to actually fucking everything running through my head. I mean to the point of being all, "Why am I such an asshole?" to "That was pretty fucking embarassing,' to yeah pretty much my analysis of the day to everything.

It's the flight of ideas, though I do have to say all connected. Otherwise? Symptom of schizophrenia.

I always knew that my undergrad degree in psych would come in handy.

So here's the thing. When it gets to the point of me berating myself about something I'm later embarassed about or thinking of something embarassing or being pissed about something, and this may just be because I'm getting too used to living by myself, I have realized that I'll say it out loud.

And like really fucking loud.

Then I'll realize, wow, not only is my head constantly running about something that I shouldn't be wasting the energy on, but now? Now I fucking sound crazy too! I mean I've always done the mutter under the breath, you know the motivational, maybe it's over here and I just haven't checked yet, to a 'you can totally get this paper done in time karen' to you know mutterings of fuck and shit under the breathe. This is just a massive step further.


I mean, other people do do this. Right?

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