wow. blogger is too hip for me now.

I feel like one of those stereotypical grannies, or you know, grandpas I guess, that everyone said were all, "I don't know what to do with this contraption. What do you do with it son? What in the world is this thing called internet? You what? Free porn?" There are so many functions available now with blogger that I don't even know what to do with myself. Label this post? Uh, Mr. Blogger, I think that would assume there is a rhyme or reason to this post. I mean. Hello. I don't fucking think so. Sweet jesus I've turned into a cranky 80-year old somehow.

Granted this could have to do with life circumstances.

One of my cube mates innocently asked me today if post-graduate life was all it was made out to be. "Uh, I don't think so." Unless you mean abyss of despair and frustration. No, it's not greener, happier, stress free pastures that you think it's going to be. Unless of course I had made the time to line up a job for right after graduation.

Ahhh, those days of being really excited about embarking on the job hunt where everything was possible, and yes siree it was going to be exciting looking for these job opportunities that I would finally, finally love.

Instead I now find myself in the pit of despair and dating my faux-vo and iPod. More so the faux-vo, though I in no way want to contemplate losing my iPod. I don't think I have the emotional capacity now right now to lose the pod.

What it wouldn't be nice to be that naive and energetic again. Granted that was only two months ago, but still. The sweet days of applying to jobs that I thought sounded interesting. I was going to the damn the man and NOT apply for jobs I thought would be selling out.

Yeah. Those days are gone.

What is most frustrating is that I think I have applied for every job out there, and it seems that my resume and cover letter is just going out there and...nothing. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. Even those soul-sucking jobs. It is as if my current employers have black balled me and I don't even know about.

I was excited today because I receive a response to a job I applied for - one I'm not even interested in, and that has only a little to do with communications - and the email response was essentially all, "We're in the early stages, and it's a group decision, and you'd actually be perfect for our communications team, but we don't have any open positions. Keep checking!" I was comforted by this platitude, because some lackey said they thought I'd be perfect for their communications team! This search is so soul-sucking, because I now think I'm only qualified for entry-level positions. Despite the fact that I would think almost 5 years of work, coupled with a Master's would be mid-level. Who. The. Fuck. Knows.

What is so terribly embarrassing is the more I escape to my TV from dealing with my sucky sucky SUCKY job, is that I watch even crappier, mindless television shows. Granted that shit is like rock candy normally - often totally fun and easy to enjoy, but you don't really gain anything from it in any way whatsoever. It's there, and a short period later it's not and there is no discernible difference. Unfortunately, these shows are now my staple diet. So that means I have sold my soul to shows like fucking "American Idol" and other shows I'm too embarassed to mentioncsimiamistillstandingtheclassgoldengirlsrebafrasierltheviewivingsingleI mean I really have no soul left. So the shows that I'm obsessed with and are totally worth my attention are just sitting in my tivo. I love love love "Friday Night Lights." The quality is up to par of a movie every week, but you need to pay attention. You need to become emotionally involved and that's just not happening after work right now. I'm terribly sorry. I know I'll make it back to you FNL!!! You deserve it! Another show I'm obsessed with, but is a little soapier and so I'm able to watch it in bursts is "Brothers & Sisters." I'm almost a little embarrassed to say it, especially since Calista Flockhart grates like no other; but as each episode ends I wish it wouldn't.

As I'm on the TV path, I guess it's time to announce something truly shocking. Brace yourself.

In order to cut down on the cable bill I canceled my Showtime subscription. This means I haven't watched any of the episodes of the L word this season, nor do I have any fucking idea of what is going on. I know.

I know!!

It's like it isn't even me. Though it is a little sad as I have heard that it is finally funnier again and there is less annoying Jenny Schechter and other annoying characters. Granted I'll believe that when I see it, but I can't, so I guess I never will. Too bad.

It is a whole new Karen. Albeit I'm not sure if it's necessarily an improved Karen. Just a different one. Hopefully not one that is phoning it in to life. I believe the verdict is still out.

We'll just have to wait...