Thursday, April 23, 2009

while i should be unpacking...

Commercials are unfortunately back in my life.

That bliss of fast-forwarding? Fucking gone. I've been unceremoniously spoiled. Well, you know, when it comes to TV watching. I had an awesome flat screen 40 inch TV...I had high-def...I had cable on-demand...I had movies channels. Cue chirping birds, harps and generic grass field filled with daisies and me running slo-mo into the light.

Granted though that all of this came with probably the worst roommate in history.

[HOLY CRAP!!!! Rant interrupted bitches. I just watched the BEST. COMMERCIAL. EVER. Okay. That's a lie. But it was awesome. It was a Heineken commercial featuring Biz Markie's "Just a Friend." A song that will FOREVER be in my nostalgia graces because of college. Sigh. Good time. Good times. Also? Supposedly I love Greg Grunberg for his Prius commercial. What the eff is happening here people? And Beyonce (I refuse to add the fucking indulgent accent, because you know what? You're no where close to being authentically French bitch.) is going for the Poor Man's Fatal Attraction...even though I think that is giving it even too much merit. Because, seriously?]

Also? It's now time for 30 Rock. A show I love with out boundaries. Supposedly. Here's the thing. Tina Fey is awesome. And awesomely funny. But here's also the thing. This past awards season it was like she couldn't stop talking about how awesome, and funny, and hot she is. got a little tiresome. I feel like the reason more people haven't revolted is because she's probably the funniest fucking person in the world right now. Which? She's totally indentured herself to me due to this.'s like, "Yes. You're hot Tina. Yes, you're effing funny. Yes YOU JUST BOUGHT A FUCKING MANSION IN NY." Seriously. A mansion. Another step towards not being the bestest person ever. Which I think she thinks she is. I feel awful feeling this. I wish I could be in a coma. Coupled with the fact that her character has been turning more and more into an asshole. Why Tina, why? Though at the same time I feel like I should say, "Fuck it." Because she's hired Jane Krasinski for the show (I have a weird love for her) and there are a few episodes of 30 Rock that are more brilliant that the brilliance of the show, and she might have soothed the irritated nerves of election season with her impersination of "Sarah Palin." Yeah. I put her in quotes. So essentially? Here's the thing. She's the fucking funniest person ever. But I'd rather not have her going on about HOW awesome she is and HOW hot she is. Granted she'll tell me to "suck it." And she might be right...But I can't just love her because she's a woman in a man's unfortunate world of comedy. We're funnier, but often not recognized for it. Still. And I love her. But it can't be the reason why I remain faithful. I guess for me, a little humility goes a fucking long way.


Back to the roomie situation.

I had a fucked up situation. Granted I have no idea when the last I blogged actually was, but I moved in with a douchey McDouche. So let's set the stage. I move in, in May. I moved in on a Saturday. Stayed with Cute Gay Boy for that night, but then moved in. So...a week. That Friday (after move) I hung out and had a few drinks with CGB and went home. And...roomie was wasted and semi-sexually harrasing me. And then he had his fuck buddy come by. So I thought it would be fine. But he then came back to the room and essentiall sexually harrassed me. It was...awkward.

Anyway, whenever he drinks he hits on me. AND essentially everyone I know in NY (I do miss you DC) says I should move. Until I moved. So for a YEAR people said I should move for dodginess.

You see? DVR and CABLE are not worth living by myself.

Granted each night by the time I hit the 4th floor I'm all, "What? This isn't the sixth yet?" but the fact that I'm living in Manhattan [if you're wondering? Just moved to a 6th floor walk-up in an awesome neighbourhood] and I have basic and a cat who semi loves me.

By the way, possibly best quote: "How are you so quiet, when your parades are so loud?"

Fine. Fuck you you rick bitch. But you make me love you. You're fucking hilarious. Unfortunately, more so than me. Hard, because funny is all I have.

No comments: