hanes: the new ground for washed up celebrities

How little money does Hanes have? Or I guess it would make more sense to say 'not have.'

I'm doing some serious unprecedented amounts of procrastinating right now. I'm this is pretty impressive - even for me.

So I'm watching live TV - Live! With commercials! That you can't fast-forward! The novelty!

So I'm watching Chicago on Bravo - which? Awful editing in commercials, like the just fucking cut it off in the middle of Queen Latifah's awesome 'Mama' number. If Bravo isn't careful, Queen's girlfriend is going to knock someone out! There's no disrespecting Queen! I actually have no bounds for my love for Queen. Like, I totally believe that she's probably really cool in real life. Which? The likelihood of a celebrity being cool and not a spoiled jackass is pretty minimal.

I digress.

So, whilst watching I noticed a new Hanes ad. I was all, that's not Michael Jordan! Dude, Damon Wayans how did you get here from "In Living Color?" I realize your show was cancelled from ABC - but I mean really, what did you expect? Not so good. I was already asking that sell-out question then. But a Hanes ad? Hanes?

Then in the next commercial break there's another ad.

This time? Marisa Tomei. Marisa Tomei?

There are rumours that she won the Oscar because Mr. McOldy misread the prompter - but let's not dwell on that. Though it would make her win make more sense. But Oscar might the only thing she has to hold on to now. I mean that would make her schilling for the ads make more sense. Plus? Does anyone under the age of 20 even know who she is?

Hanes asks, "Look who we've got our Hanes on now?"

Or I do that reading from the statement, because who?