crush.

Man, I loved that orange soda as a kid.

Actually? I loved all orange soda. I can remember whenever we would go to a fast food restaurant as a kid I would order orange soda. Unless we were going to am pm, but that's a whole different, woe is me the divorced child story.

I'm trying to stick to topics these days, rather than a total flight of ideas.

I accompanied Shortie to another art show in, gasp! Silver Spring, last night, where she had three pictures hanging. It's actually at this Cuban and Puerto Rican fusion restaurant that was part of a walking tour opening last night as well. Most of the people present were the artists and friends, and were eating and drinking. The waitress, well intentioned, and speaking pretty much no English whatsoever, was rather flustered by the crowd. And there weren't even that many people present.

Anyway. The food was taking forever, and at our end there was an artist with his bunch of friends so we decided to look at the other hangings. I mean it was the point of coming, right?

Overall, there were some good pieces. And some paintings I could have gone without. Shortie pointed out three pictures, next to hers, that I had noticed, as being the photographer who sold our friends a picture of a mushroom. On like, their first date. A picture. Of. A. Mushroom. Because it reminded our friend of Maine. He's weird. They're actually now engaged. They've been dating since the end of October. We move on.

His picture of floating tomatoes and a green pepper in water had caught my eye as soon as we came in. Though from afar, I thought the tomatoes were pumpkins or squash. What? What! I didn't have my glasses on. And it's been a bad crop year for tomatoes, and so they weren't all that red.

Anyway. This photographer comes in later, and as soon as I spot him, I'm all, "he's cute!" This, despite the fact that it was sweaty. But, it's summer, and DC. To be expected. He mentions pulling up a chair, and so I surreptiously attempt to scoot over so he'll sit in the chair next to mine.

Unfortunately my plans were thwarted when the kid who was sitting one chair over, removed his chair from the table and decided to sit in that chair. Fucking bastard.

But! When Shortie and I were looking at the art, this guy who had left and returned, and I later found out was fucking weird, sat down in Shortie's chair. I mean the guy came back from his art walk, and we're sitting at the table and he reaches over and takes this person's discarded Corona and ads water from a glass sitting next to it. Fucking, EW!!! I mean, it's not even your friend's beer or water, and you're drinking from them? And you're watering down Corona? Who the fuck are you? Plus his body language and interactions were just bizarre.

His moving to our seat though was a fortuitous chance forcing us to sit somewhere else at the table. I made sure we sat down next to Cute Photographer.

Not only was he cute, but he was really nice and kind of funny. I know I find him cute because he reminds me of Anthony Clark in "Boston Common" era, which I loved for some reason. The theme song fucking rocked too. And I'm not even that sure why I enjoyed the show so much, but I do know that I thought Anthony Clark was adorable. I tried to find the TV Guide cover of him when the show first debuted, but they don't have it archived, and there no rabid fans out there of him or the show, so...yeah.

Anyway, CP is adorable and really nice, and talented, and northern, and some-fucking-how lives with a CC alum now. What type of small fucking world is this people? Other plus? Pretty sure he's not gay.

So, of course, have partially spent the morning trying to semi-stalk him. I sent Shortie an email concerning CP and my feelings.

Her response?

"It's amazing how you can be funny and scary at the same time."

To be fair, this is what I wrote:

From: me [mailto:me@whereiwork.com]
Sent: Wednesday, July 13, 2005 11:47 AM
To: shortie@someplace.org
Subject: RE: once every few weeks...

Okay, I do not even know why I think he’s so cute. There’s a picture of him taking a picture, and I was like, aw, how cute.

We’re going to have to stalk him [Shortie]. Stalk, I say, STALK!

I wonder where he frequents? We know about the [popular after work hobby]…

It looks like I have my summer crush! Maybe he'll be as tasty as the soda.

I know. I know.

Dirty!

about the size of a stick of butter.

Everyone was atwitter with excitement concerning the birth of a panda bear at the DC zoo. The zoo has been trying for years to get the Mei Xing pregnant. Along with some failed attempts, there were the deaths of the panda bear babies before 3 months. I mean there was even a pregnancy watch last year, that just turned out to be a fluke.

In fact, they didn't even know if Mei Xing, who is on loan to the zoo, was pregnant or not until she gave birth.

The DC Zoo is now being cautious and not interfering with mother and child, seeing as on the three previous occassions the babies died. Though, supposedly Mei Xing is showing signs of being an exemplary mother. Good for her! Hee.

All this discussion is so funny, but the funniest part was the constant description of what a baby panda looks like. That it is small, and bare, and about the size of a stick of butter. Which, as DCist said, ew.

Due to the hands off-ness, and that camera looking into Mei Xing's area where you can't see jack shit, it's a little difficult to picture. So imagine my joy when I stumbled upon baby pictures of two panda bears.

Fucking adorable, huh? Hard to picture them being big ol' bears. Another interesting fact was that China, because the panda's are on loan, I assume, get to name the baby bear. Hope it's something interesting.

In sad, related news, Mei Mei, 36, and the oldest living panda bear, died in a zoo in China on Tuesday.

finally figuring out how to toast.

Since I've started working in the real world, approximately finishing up my third year [fuck that's scary], I've probably brought lunch in 10% of those work days.

I'm have the atrocious habit of just going out and picking something up for lunch. I mean I have a multitude of reasons, but the biggest would have to be my constant habit of rolling out of bed late and running to work. I refuse to make my lunch the night before; it brings back too many memories of lunches in middle school and high school and the sandwhich gets all soggy and nasty tasting.

I've gone through spurts of bring my lunch, but a spurt is the furthest it's gone. Bringing my lunch in is now a necessity with my internship schedule because I don't have time to pick up anything at all for lunch, and I'm working from 7:30 to at least 6:30 non-stop. This means I need some sort of food.

So, I've been rather diligently bringing my lunch in. And also? Toasting my sandwhich to make it more interesting. I realized my favourite sandwhiches from the shop are always toasted or grilled. Warm equals interesting.

The problem I've suffered from so far is that I haven't been able to quite figure out how to make the perfectly toasted sandwhich. The first few times in the toaster over the top slice was approximately charred to a crisp whilst the lower slice was brown. Then I just started burning them left and right. Not that this would normally be an issue, but this meant that the inside of my mouth was getting ripped up by the bread. Not Good.

Then I started watching it carefully. The problem was that the bread was pretty decent, but the inside wasn't getting warm and the slice of cheese wasn't being melted. So, not really warm, therefore, not interesting.

I discovered yesterday that if I split the sandwhich in half and toast them open-faced it creates a magical, perfect sandwhich. Something I would potentially pay money for. Other than what I've already paid of course.

Maybe I'll actually enjoy bringing my lunch now.

Well. That might be a stretch, but it'll make these summer months easier to live by.

this might be why i love london so much.

First off. There is still an apb on blueberry coffee. I've started to realize though that this may be a fruitless, no pun intended, apb.

So, you know. We move on.

I was reading my 'ists' for the day, and was excited to see there is one about Paris! Woot! And it's in French, so I can practice reading that on a daily basis. Philly was added too, as was Shangai. I was actually wondering when a Pennsylvania one was going to be added.

I digress though. Londonist had a post about the reactions to the bombings, that kind of describes why I love London and Brits, and pretty much Europeans in general. They aren't trying to sap the awful tragedy for a 7/7 event, as their '9/11' if you will, and were pretty much like, you know what? The IRA has done a better job in the past, so if you want, just buy me a beer.

I don't paraphrase really well, but it's this resolve and fuck you to being intimidated or to an emotional leeching of the awful tragedy.

I'll buy a round.

apb on blueberry coffee.

Okay.

So Stretch called one day. Okay, so she calls every day, but one day I actually talked to her and she mentioned that DD's (Dunkin' Donuts to the unhip and uninformed out there) had new summer flavours that included Blueberry and Coconut.

One thing Stretch and I have always shared is our willingess, almost stupidity, of wanting to throw ourselves out there in the world of trying potentially dodgy foods. Or just eating a mixture of food that is good, but eaten at the same time is questionable. Or just eating questionable amounts of food at a time.

So we pow-wowed and essentially were all, blueberry sounds scary. But. Good scary. Stretch reported back that the first time she tried it, she couldn't really tell, and the second time it was pretty tasty.

When I went to go visit CBF in the city I was like, we totally have to hit DD's (because the DD's here is not even a 'full' one, so who knows if they'll have the flavour and it's too fucking humid to walk 10 blocks out of the way on the way to work) and I want to try the blueberry.

The weekend was a blur and it didn't happen.

My sister and I went to get brunch at Bruegger's, because really? I'm that cheap, well I should say we, because she's po' poor. And with my breakfast bagel you can add coffee for cheap. Due to the heat I asked if I could make it iced, which I could, so: Awesome! The untalented boy who was helping me, asked what flavour and as soon as he said blueberry, I chose it.

It was: Fucking. Awesome!

I tried to go again Sunday, but apparently it's closed in this little steel town on a Sunday. Boo! So then I did an internet search to see if there was a DD's. It had 1. Which? A travesty. Even more of a travesty? I called and asked the guy how late they were open, and he was like, we're closed. If you're closed motherfucker, don't pick up the phone. This pisses me off the most when trying to order pizza after a night of drinking. Fuck you Pizza Hut worker. Let the machine pick up without giving me momentary hope.

Now. There is no Bruegger's in the 'tri-state' area of here if you will. So now?

I'm obsessed with blueberry coffee. I'm on a hunt. I'd be eternally grateful if someone could point out a coffee place in the DC area that sells blueberry flavoured coffee.

Help my coffee obsession!

i scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

That chant, during the summer, is something that I'm sure drove my parents crazy. Whenever my sister and I agreed that we really, really wanted ice cream, we would bust out with the traditional chant. Starting out quiet and then getting really loud. Read: fucking obnoxious. It was probably the few times where my sister and I would agree on anything because we fought like little bitches when we were young. Read: until we both bonded over the fact that we were covertly smoking in high school. (She got busted, because she's stupid. Twice, mind you. On two different continents. She's not smooth). And even then, we still fought. The chant would work about 50/50, but we continued as it did sometimes work.

It's summer, and so it's okay to eat ice cream again. Or more to the point, it's a topic of conversation and something that you're craving, rather than the other months of the year where it's like one degree centigrade and you're just trying to stay warm waiting for the bus. Ice cream doesn't really call out then. Which is a problem that I wonder how ice cream shops, that aren't chains, are able to stay open and if not thrive, be successful.

Yesterday was the 4th, and was a lot better than I thought it would be. The party was being hosted in Virginia, I know. It's so easy to be a DC snob. I think it's somewhat akin to the people in New York who are all, I don't go to Brooklyn, looking as if someone just shot a loogie into their mouth.

Anyway. Shortie and I made the bold move of going to Virginia to CBF's girlfriend's apartment for some pre-party fun. I made the best guacamole ever, because it's what I do, and so we gorged ourselves on that, plus potato chips and ranch and watermelon.

The best part though, was the Smoke & Fire drinking game, that was invented at CC, and we embellished upon yesterday. Simple rules.

Pack of cards.
Shot glasses.
Pitcher of beer.

Take a pack and you have to say whether you think it will be Smoke (black) or Fire (red). If you're wrong, you have to take a shot of beer. At this point you can double up, and if you guess the second card correctly you are safe. If not? Double shot of beer. If you get a joker, you get to make a person take a half shot of vodka.

For some reason, this game, in all of it's stupid simplicity was a fucking blast.

Toward's firework time, we headed to a co-worker of CBF's girlfriend's apartment. Where we were under the assumption that there was going to be a party. What do your parent's say? Ass out of u and me? Yeah.

This chick's parents, brother and sister-in-law were there. Along with another special co-worker. Actually the entire thing was special. To boot there wasn't really alcohol, and it was just turing out lame-o. But then I listened as Shortie and CBF's GF were debating the best ice cream. CBF GF was mentioning how Cold Stone Creamery wasn't the best, she had just been cheating on Max of late. Where I jumped in, agreeing that Max was the best ice cream place in the world. Because not only is Max's awesomely delicious, you also get Max who is quite the character. Shortie, who will never admit that something is better outside of DC, as in, yeah that's okay, but I'd get [insert critical word here] of it, said there was this other ice cream place that was better. What? Seriously? She even said CBF would agree.

CBF said that Max's was indeed the better ice cream establishment. It really was worth the 10 minute plus conversation, especially considering the occasion.

Why, might you ask, did I relay this conversation? Because everyone should be having ice cream this summer, and it seems LAist did a review of an ice cream store today, and really, what a timely post.

And now I want some Max's ice cream.

flight of ideas.

Psychology professors always tell the same anecdote, while studying each of the different diseases, you will think that you can be diagnosed with said disease. That you'll experience, an "Ooooh. I have that. I experience that. I must totally have X disorder." That, and: "Wait until you get home and tell people you're studying psychology. People will ask you if you're diagnosing them right now." The second is much more popular.

And it never happened to me.

As a psychology major in undergrad, I really did study up on the different mental disorders, especially the extreme ones since I had a strong interest in severe mental disorders. I was taking an Abnormal Psych class at Berkeley one of my summers, because I enjoyed psych that much, and was deep into minutae of the extreme disorders.

When I was studying schizophrenia and it's many forms, one of the clear symptoms is flight of ideas. Where your mind races and thoughts aren't cohesive and just jump about without any linear fashion or form. For some reason I was like, "Wow. I totally have that. Where my mind will just jump all around and not necessarily make sense when jumping to a new thought." I was convinced this was an early sign of schizophrenia and that in a year or two I would have full-blown schizophrenia. So far I've managed to pass through the peak years for 'outbreak' if you will, though I'm not going to rule that out yet.

I didn't realize that I think often people really do have flight of ideas. And that was I was talking about wasn't really flight of ideas. It did make me feel better though when watcing a Wanda Sykes stand-up, who fucking rocks by the way, and she discussed not being able to fall asleep and the flight of ideas that keep you up from falling back asleep. The routine was hilarious, with her thoughts at one point touching upon whether she had her high school yearbook still, and where in the hell would it be? And I finally was like, oh, it's not just me! Awesome. This stupid thing keeps other people up at night too.

Today on Huffington Post Larry David, yes that Larry David, posts about a recent flight of ideas night where he is trying to fall asleep, and how the scary Republicans are keeping him awake. It's pretty funny, including this little snippet during one part to give you a taste:

"You’re giving him what he wants! If he keeps us all up, we’ll be too tired to
fight them. That’s their strategy, and you’re playing right into their hands. We
have to start keeping them up. But how? The only things that bothers them enough
to keep them up are fetuses. They love that fetus. The fetus and Jesus. Sounds
like a comedy team. “Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to Fetus and
Jesus…”

You'll have to read the post to find out about who he is talking about.

Oh, and a song I've recently discovered that takes a few listen's to appreciate is Elected's "Greetings in Braille." Which is thankfully available for free download at the website. Their other songs are pretty awesome too, but I adore "Greetings in Braille."

funny funny funny.

So another fun site that I like to read, only when I have time, of course, is Gawker. The entire slew of Gawker Media sites are actually really funny and rather scathing. Which is of course, what makes them funny.

Lindsay Lohan has become a walking train wreck. I mean, I still remember last summer, or was it two summers ago, that she was making her comeback with "Freaky Friday" and turned in a rather winsome performance. Golden Girls trivia: the guy who played her grandfather in that movie was in fact Harold Gould, the actor who played Rose's boyfriend Miles for a few years. And in the first season played the character who Rose has sex with for the first time since her husband died. The show runners at GG didn't seem to care about casting actors in multiple guest roles, or about keeping the same actors to play the same guest characters. It can get a little annoying when it comes to the children of the women, but I digress.

Lindsay was cute and adorable in that movie. Then she did "Mean Girls" and it essentially all blew up. I was rooting for her, if not just because I wanted her to outshine Hilary Duff (Duff hatred still present) and the two for that brief period of time were duking it out for the same roles and spots. "Mean Girls" was awesome, and Lindsay proved that unlike Hilary Duff she could act. And pick a good movie. I mean are you paying your parents' mortgages or something Hilary? Did you actually read the script for "The Perfect Man," or essentially let's insert in that space any movie you've been in?

At the same time, and I believe Lindsay fully embraced it, she became sexualized and everyone wanted to know if her boobs were in fact real, and was she dating Wilmer blah, blah, blah. Because let's face it, she had grown into a real hottie.

Then I believe the 'alleged' cocaína along with not eating, wait, I'm sorry, scratch that. Her new eating healthy lifestyle and working out, made her lose her hot bod, boobs (finally proves they were real) and a very good imitator of Skeletor. Along with some fucking alleged role where she had to dye her hair blonde, so they bleached it out, killing the luster, and made it look like shit. This was something she once said in an interview that she would never do. Too bad she lied. Lindsay? If there is any way you're listening: eat something and keep it down, and get rid of the blonde. You look awful, and I don't even believe that it's for a role because you haven't been filming anything.

So, despite the fact that she's really only a shadow of who she was, she's not dead to me yet. Can't quite explain why, but that doesn't mean I won't make fun of her, or enjoy people making fun of her. Yesterday Gawker did an awesome job of it too, with pictures and captioning of Linsday visiting the today show.

Laughter in the morning does amazing things for the day. Bless you Gawker!

no longer dead to me.

It seems that whenever any power, and popular celebrity couple divorces slash breaks-up, people choose sides. And clearly, by people, I mean: me.

For reasons unfathomable to me now, I was shocked and somewhat saddened when Tom and Nicole first announced their divorce. Clearly, this was because she was breaking free from the mental craziness that is Tom Cruise, though there is always speculation. I mean he always would just say in interviews that, she knew why they were breaking up. And it was somewhat suspect that when she suffered from a miscarriage almost right afterwards that he showed no remorse. Was it not his baby? Could she have had an affair? Was he the one that the affair with Penelope Cruz? And I thought at the time that they had an ick factor. Plus I totally believed that he had had an affair.

Why was I concerned? Well they were a rather popular couple, and I mean, I loved Top Gun, and was otherwise a general fan of the Tom. Which again? Has me completely flummoxed now. I remember playing dodgeball during recess and discussing his divorce with Mimi back in the day, and all of us were psyched...because of course when you're 8 he's going to be available for you to date him. I even remember my sister's friend Rhonda being especially excited about his divorce. Because yes, at 11, he's going to marry you!

My sister has always expressed wonder at this phenomenon where people become upset when their celebrity crushes, or for some people obsessions, are dating or married to someone, and excited when their relationships eventually hit the skids. "Right. Because if they're single, you're going to get the opportunity to date them. You're weird." I guess I left out the 'karen' at the end of the last sentence, but I mean really. Did Jake really have to start dating Kirsten again? I mean there are no snowstorms going on in my nostrils, and we'd be like, totally great together. Call me!

I digress. Anyway, I ended up siding with Nicole. It could be because I'm the only person in America who didn't really enjoy "Jerry McGuire" all that much, and thought Renee was fucking annoying. Cute and bubbly in "Empire Records," which is a fucking awesome movie, but annoying and whiny in every. Single. Fucking. Movie. Since. Take back the Oscar people. Plus? Nicole was awesome in "The Others," which came out shortly post-ruined marriage, and it was also pre-Botox. Then of course came "Moulin Rouge" which again, great movie. She was charming and wonderful, and I'm sitting there rooting her on and hoping that she continues to be successful and we can all say, "Look what you're missing Tom."

Then came the Botox age. And the super super skinny stage. I mean she didn't really look like a human anymore. You would see pictures and her forehead would be all shiny and would bounce the reflection of the camera flashes back, all "Kap-ow! Just try taking a picture of me you paparazzi bitches!" It was a sad stage. I mean part of acting is showing emotion, and when there's nothing going on above the eyebrows it's a little difficult to emote. And the fact that she looked like a midget could take her down with one hand behind their back because she hadn't seen a carbohydrate in months...

It probably would have been better if this was reserved to the red-carpet, but even she looked like a robot in the previews for the awful idea of a remake in the "Stepford Wives," which I thankfully did not see.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she's such a perfectionist method actor that she wanted to become a robot for her role, and she was just having a hard time letting it go. It certianly would be an explanation.

To recap: Dead to me.

An amazing thing happened though. This morning, and it might be because I woke up at 6 for my new summer schedule (do people really wake-up this early? And why would they ever want to? It's not sane. There should be a law.) and I was giddy with fatigue, but when I went to go check for the free song of the week at the iTunes store I saw that Nicole Kidman had a celebrity playlist.

Now I'm not a huge fan of the celebrity playlists. I think sometimes people are choosing songs that they think might make people think they are cool. Yes, Mischa Barton I'm looking at you. Did you raid your castmates CD collections in their trailers and then ask your publicist what would be best? I highly doubt that you listen to the fucking Shins. I just won't believe it. Sometimes the comments for each song are really rather stupid too. It is somewhat interesting to see what some playlists are, but I think for "Entertaiment Weekly" to put it down as a "must" is providing it with too much credit.

So, I was curious and decided to check it out. The songs are a pretty awesome mix; especially when she's not choosing 'trendy' or possibly pretentious picks to make her look cool. The comments make her seem winning and charming again. Plus? She lets her daughter choose the last four songs, and make the comments which is even more adorable.

I think this list combined with my grudging actual enthusiasm about "Bewitched," the promos make the awful premise look cute and fun, which is freaking me out, has Nicole Kidman back on my 'good' list.

Until of course I see her in another period piece, with her forehead shining back at me saying, "That's right. I'm going going to use my shininess to emote, and distract you that I can't actually move. I should get second billing!"

Song of the day? And really, I feel I should be more cautious considering the uproar of the "Fight for Your Right Cover." I still say I enjoy it. But the song that has already repeated a few times today on my iTunes is Jon Brion's "Knock Yourself Out." I initially fell in love with it when I heard it during the trailer for "I Heart Huckabees"and immediately wanted to know what it was. Didn't find out until much later, but I still love it.

is sharing really that bad?

So I've been trying to put a password to my wireless, because I figure if I'm paying premium and essentially something that I can't afford, others shouldn't reap the benefits.

The other week I noticed that I had another iTunes user on my iTunes. I was curious so I looked at the songs and realized that said user went to my college. Which.

Kind of creepy.

That makes 3 alums from college, including me, living in the building at the moment. If she hadn't just graduated and had been living here last year, there would have been 5 of us. Which.

Small world.

After asking my fellow tech guy at work if seeing her pop up on my iTunes meant she was using my wireless, AND slowing it down. He confirmed my suspicions and I figured if everyone else in the building has it password protected, so should I.

I've been unsuccessful as of yet.

Okay. So I haven't actually called Verizon's customer service yet, and I only tried to figure it out for 10 minutes. But really. It should be easier than that.

So the first perusal of fellow alum, showed cheesy music including 98 degrees and of course our college a cappella groups. Upon closer perusal (I guess it counts as procrastination from preparing for the internship tomorrow. I really am a master) I realized that mixed with some atrocious songs (Hanson? Les Mis Soundtrack? Jessica Simpson? Really???) there are some serious jems. Especially some songs that I've been thinking about buying. Sweet!

There is a silver lining to her using my free wireless for the moment. Though she best get ready for when I organize myself and actually put a password in.

word of the day children? frustration.

Yes. I'm so very excited to be getting this communications internship in the field I'm interested in working in once I finally finish earning my MA.

Or at least I was so very excited.

Clearly the person I was to be working with was difficult to pin down. Or you know. Get a response from. Simple etiquette would be nice. This, I dealt with, because, again, opportunity. I need some solid communications experience on my CV before I hop off into the real world and get the job I want.

Then there was the potential non-recognition from the person who I was supposed to be talking with when I called her after she asked me to. Fine.

Then I was supposed to start last week but called the day beforehand because I hadn't heard from said individual despite the fact that I was assured we would have a chat. Spoke to the second-in-command, if you will, who clearly had no idea who I was, and was all, "I'll get back to you on starting tomorrow."

Getting back to me consisted of them not being prepared. Granted my boss had had a personal family emergency, and so again, I rolled with the punches. Grateful that at least #2 seemed to get back to me. I was grateful. #2 also mentioned that they would call me today.

Five to 5. No call, and answering machines for both.

Around 5:20ish, call back from my message.

It seems that the office is going on a 3-day retreat on Wednesday and so they're a little busy. And, be prepared for this, aren't ready for me to come into the office.

Boss is prepared for me to start working though, and asked if I could work in my office or from home. Boss wants to talk to me tomorrow for a big, long telephone conversation to plot out what I'll be doing for the summer, with #2. "Was 1:30 okay for me?" Why yes indeed! Just peachy!

"Oh, and can you call me at 1:30?"

Sure. Thing.

I couldn't believe it. Me. Call them for this meeting. Can they not waste a dime on me? I mean I'll already be bringing in my own computer, if I ever do start in the office, and pretty much providing free graduate labour.

CHC thinks I should drop it, suggesting that internships aren't that big of a deal (boo!), and that I'm the one providing the free labour, and they're track record is awful. She's not the only one to suggest this.

I think I just need to take some deep breaths. Repeat the words: At least I'll be doing something. And realize this will be a huge deal for my CV, despite what CHC says, and I'm a lucky individual for the opportunity.

Must. Focus. On. Positive.

another reason to miss living in l.a.

Okay.

So never actually in the city, but close enough that I could drive there, plus the surrounding cities. I miss Southern Cali, and, well, Northern as well.

I believe these moments are because it's now been over a year since I was last home. I may perhaps need to experience the smog and the non-cities [People walking? People don't walk!] to appreciate the East Coast again. I mean I couldn't get the fuck out of dodge quick enough after graduation, and I went to college on the East Coast because I wanted to have a more Euro feel.

One of the best shows ever! is back. Reno 911!, and that's not a gratuitous exclamation mark if you're unfamiliar with the show. I'm a huge fan of largely ad-libbed albeit situation scripted entertainment. All of the Christopher Guest movies are fucking hilarious, though "Best in Show" will forever remain in my heart. When I had Netflix one summer, I took "Best in Show" from Berkeley where I was spending the summer, to home for a few days, to college.

And then I had it for another two months. Thank god for no late fees. You would think just having to drop if off in a post-office box wouldn't be that difficult.

These are other issues.

Anyway, Reno 911! is one of the best comedies on television hands down. I will laugh out loud without fail during each episode, and sometimes I need to pause the TiVo so I don't miss anything. These people are brilliant, and I especially love to watch them try and not lose their shit when I'm re-watching. I don't know how they keep straight faces because each shot is a new version of a line.

Yes. I'm gushing, and probably a fangirl. But it's quality television during a period of time where funny watching is difficult to find.

I would love to meet the cast and would even buy the DVD to do so. Yesterday there was such an event, where the first 50 people got hats, and the first 150 got free t-shirts. Plus, everyone was able to have their DVDs signed. This means the actual funny people right there in person.

Where was it you might ask?

Virgin Megastore in LA.

Dammit.

Song of the Day? "Wavy Gravy" by the always brilliant Sasha.

true purpose?

So maybe my true purpose as a blogger is really just bring entertainment. Introduce songs. Talk about media. Suggest websites.

I can live with that legacy.

To continue onwards, there is a website that I frequently about weekly or lately, monthly because the updates aren't as frequent, Fametracker. Which is led by the awesome people who started Television Without Pity which I must increase their daily hits exponentially, and This Is Not Over.

It's a funny site, where they do 'fame audits' and just essentially talk abou celebrities. I get a chuckle and make sure I return. They also have a category of setting up a celebrity versus an object. Like Tom Hanks and a Loufa I believe. Loufa won.

Today's? Angelina Jolie vs. Bottled Water. It's a must read to see who wins, and it's pretty fucking hilarious.

Oh, and I totally agree with the author.

and i never give you anything?

I'm a music fiend.

I think that might have already been established by my semi-drunken love posting of Imogen Heap's song.

Now! There is an up and comer, Andrew Paul Woodworth, who is working on his first album and he has a cover of "Fight for Your Right" that is interesting and rather haunting. Here is a link to download it for free for the next 24 hours.

Enjoy!

ETA: From one response, I feel I guess I should forewarn that the song is completely different and essentially a brand-new song, rather than a Beastie Boy's version. It's cool though.

somewhat anticlimactic, no?

It seems that of all of the respectable, policy-driving publications did not in fact break who Deep Throat was.

It was Vanity Fair.

That magazine that is essentially fluff and its demographics are best represented by housewives in Idaho who want to feel like they have a piece of fancy living.

Granted it's one of my favourite magazines. But. Still.

The rumours that have been surrounding who exactly Deep Throat was...and it was a member of the FBI. I'm not sure why I find this to be somewhat anti-climactic, but for some reason I do.

I think it might have to do with the fact that I wanted it to be one of those, "Oh! Holy Shit! It's him!" I had never even heard of Felt. And also? Why Vanity Fair Felt? I mean, really!

The mysticism is also gone. You know the slight let down after Christmas Day? Where it's just over? I used to have so much fun telling stories of how Mrs.' former law firm senior partner was rumoured to be Deep Throat and so he couldn't serve on any boards.

Well kids, we've learned who it is, and before he's dead.

Fabulous.

ew agrees with me

As I was perusing my new issue of Entertainment Weekly this morning they were doing a run-down of the last season on TV. In a side panel they had the best and worst of the season, such as best "Lost" backstory, Proof that Good Things Happen to Good TV Shows [Veronica Mars! Yay!], and the whole point of this post?

Worst Theme Song: "The Way That We Live" by Betty for the L Word.

It seems we can all agree on something.

why am i obsessed with this song?

The OC, which I was obsessed with last year. And really? Probably even more so than the L word. I mean, it wasn't just The OC, but it was Adam Brody mostly. DId you know that we were born in the same state, same day, and same year? I was excited when I found out. Anyway.

Obsessed with Adam Brody? Check. Obsessed with the OC? Check. Spent hours on the forums on TWoP for The OC? Check.

This season? Not so good. Seth slash Adam Brody have become way, way, too self aware of how fucking adorable he is. The show? Boring plotlines and much too much fucking meta moments. Writers? Where'd you go? Meta doesn't mean good.

Okay, so I must actaually be obsessed because I was writing this right before I left this eveninng. I just came back and listening was the first thing I did. Oh, and my friend Marko's sister is fucking drunk and totally got us in the VIP area.

Awesome.

Tthe song? Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap who is the singer of "Let Go" in the Garden State soundtrack. It's an awesome song. Download it now. Let me say it's awesome. And if you watch the OC it was in the finale of the season. This entire season was crap, but the finale was awesome. I didn't really like the entire season, but and wondered why C actually liked this season. If you were wondering it's because she didn't watch last season. Last season was fucking awesome.

"Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap. Download it. I'm obsessed.

obsessed with cashews.

Okay, so I guess it's Mrs. Bridezilla now. And because she's no longer a Bridezilla and her sister and his sister combined were worse than anything she could possibly be because they are both Type A's to the pointy T, she's just going to be Mrs. now. Which still scares me. And as an editing note, I'm too hung-over today to write about the wedding yet. Plus, I think there are still scars.

Anyway. Mrs.' husband's sister, Hair, who I drove up with to the wedding, and is a card carrying Republican, Brr..., is Type A to the T. Clearly. As I mentioned. Anyway, when Mrs. and H. were in town for their engagement party, along with parents we went out to dinner the evening before the party. We had drinks at Hair's apartment with appetizers that she had prepared. Hair told me once that she wanted to be Martha Stewart. I mean obsessed with cooking and perfection in general. Anyway, she had made edamame hummus which was awesome, and she had also made these Rosemary Cashews. Or Thyme. Or another herb that I can't think of the name of. Anyway, she also puts in cumin or something that makes it spicy. I know it starts with a c. Wow. This is really turning into the best post ever. I'm so succinct. Anyway.

I love cashews anyway. They're my favourite nut. They're AWESOME. Though macadamians are a close second. But these cashews are like crack. I mean they're fucking amazing.

So Hair and her mother had a hospitality suite at the hotel, or the Express should I say for the wedding. She had made cookies, brownies and these ooey gooey cookies and they bought beer and other food and drinks. When the other bridesmaid who wasn't a freak, because really it was just the two of us, went there the first night we discovered that she had made the awesome cashews and had them sitting there. It was after the party after the rehearsal dinner so we were all pretty buzzed slash potentially borderline drunk.

I just happened to be sitting right in front of the bowl. I just also happened to eat like half the bowl of cashews. I couldn't stop. Seriously. They're amazing.

I'm now ridiculously craving these cashews with my hang-over. I don't know why, but they sound like they would be amazing right now and would totally help me recover. Sigh.

Oh, and not only are cashews like the fattiest nut, but I know that she like fries them in oil or something for the recipe, which must make the doubly horrible for your arteries. And also what probably makes them taste like heaven.

Update on Cute Intern: Intern? Still young. But he will now be referred to as Hot Intern, because after staring at him during the staff meeting yesterday I realized he's Hot. And as CHC pointed out during the staff meeting by noting it on her pad, beefy. And he's hot despite the fact that he's attending the rival college to my college. He's hot enough to be forgiven.

update on cute intern

O-kay.

Cute Intern? Much, much, too young.

It was okay when we thought he was 22-ish and just graduated from college.

CHC and I just found out he won't be 21 for two more months and he's going to be a Junior in college.

Too. Young.

I now feel like a dirty old woman.

Though that doesn't mean I can't still look.

why can't i ever find it?

I'm a big fan of the show Everwood, and then I guess the general response would then be, "What show aren't you a fan of?" And there are many my friends. Many. It might not seem like it. One that would earn me an incredulous glance is "Lost." I'm sure it's awesome. I've just never become invested in it. And it's not one of those ones that you really can just right in at this point.

I digress.

Everwood consistently can make me cry, which is a good thing since most people say I don't have a heart because I don't really cry during shows or other things that would make people cry. Except when sometimes I'm a little emotional and a car advert can get me choked up. Anyway! Everwood is solid crying material.

During the season finale on Monday, the teariest moment had Natalie Merchant's song "Beloved Wife" playing in the background, just oomphing the tear moment. It also was one of those things where you hear a song you haven't heard in ages and you're all, 'ooooh, good song. Totally forgot about that.'

I've my Natalie Merchant CD for ages, and so last night as I was falling asleep I wanted to listen to the CD. Especially since the song was stuck in my head, but also for the entire CD. I seriously did forget how much I love Natalie Merchant.

So clearly it wasn't where it was supposed to be. I spent like 15 minutes looking for it until I gave up and played a Ben Harper CD. I also forgot how much I liked him. Anyway. It always happens that when I want to find something that I can't.

Usually I will be able to find it, and most annoyingly, usually where I had already looked. It happens all the time.

I have a bad feeling though that someone has my Natalie Merchant CD, and I've lost it.

I'm mourning for a CD now that I haven't listened to in over a year.

would you please just get back to me?

For quite some time I've been trying to arrange for a part-time media-ish internship for the summer at a nameless organization because I must be careful not to google tag or get google tagged or whatever under any circumstances.

The reason it has taken so long to organize is that the individual who received my information has taken for-fucking-ever to get back to me, or even respond to my information. I mean, granted, I understand you're a big impressive individual, but your boss got back to me rather quickly and I didn't end up having to chase said individual down.

I was asking Shortie, who has to deal with all of the applications for her said organization, how I should word a follow-up email that the person hadn't responded to yet. It was pretty damn funny, and I didn't post it because I didn't want to jinx it. Which is why I've been rather mum about the whole deal.

This is no longer a problem, YAY!, and so without further ado, Shortie's response to my query.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

From: Shortie [mailto:shortie@whoreallycareswhere.org]
Sent: Monday, April 25, 2005 3:52 PM
To: 'Karen'

Subject: replace the caps with better wording

Dear DELIQUENT BITCH,
Last week, I was in contact with YOUR MUCH MORE COMPETANT BOSS in regards to a potential summer internship at YOUR WAY TOO COOL ORGANIZATION.
Since YOUR MUCH COOLER THAN YOU BOSS said that she would pass my contact information on to you, and blah blah balh...

Thank you,
'Karen'

spice girls reunited!!!!!!!!!!!

I know it's the cheese, but this news makes me so happy!!!

Even Ginger Spice aka Geri Halliwell is going to be on tour!

I know it's most nostalgia for high school, but I loved the Spice Girls. Please. I still have their three albums.

When I was in Majorca and read of Ginger leaving. Sigh. I thought it was a hoax, or the end of the world. Okay, that's a little overly dramatic.

But this is the best news since their split. Awesome!

most affordable city?

It seems from a report in CNN Money today that my college town is the most affordable city to live in. Or rather that you get the most mileage out of your dollar.

Now this is all fine and dandy, and yay New London, you're famous for something now. But does this really matter when you can't spend your money on anything because there is nothing to do in New London?

I mean bowling perhaps, but seriously? There are the cities nearby that you can shop in, or the casinos nearby, but there is not much going on in New London.

This doesn't really explain though why I was always broke in college. This should mean that my money went further, and really when I think about how little I was getting, and that it would be gone in like a week in other cities, I guess it does help explain that.

Seriously though. What is there to do in New London that doesn't involve shopping.

Ideas anyone?

cute intern

So, it seems that while I was away at the wedding. The wedding that is now thankfully and mercifully over. I will share later. Anyway, it seems that my 'team' has hired an intern.

This intern? A boy. Which is the first most shocking part. The second? He's cute! The third? He's taller than me without my heels on.

I saw him walking down the hall and went run/walking down the hall so I could ask the front desk receptionist who he was. Unfortunately there was the student working the desk. Dammit!

So then I see he took the men's room key so I'm fake reading my mail in the door of the copy room waiting for him to walk past to see if he really was that cute.

He was.

So then CHC walks in to say 'hey' for the day and I tell her that there is a cute boy working in the pit. She's all, yeah he's an intern, and he works for us. But only for a month. She was also like he's young-ish like 22, and she was like we, meaning her and annoying slutty co-worker, introduced themselves to him. She was all, "Yeah he's cute, but I was thinking you know who would really find him cute? Karen. Because he looks like he's 12."

She's kind of got me on that one.

Let the stalking commence for the next month. And really? Who cares that he is potentially the son of a friend of big boss man.

On another note. I love Fatboy Slim. He's an awesome DJ who I first discovered in high school, though more mainstream that I would usually enjoy and then there's the Scissor Sisters who fucking rock. Their song Filthy/Gorgeous is just a great song. Once I get more money I'm totally buying their album. They also have a multitude of famous fans too. It seems that Fatboy slim is one of them and he remixed their cover of "Comfortably Numb." Check it out.

ending with a fizz...

Damn you to curses Ilene Chaiken. Fuck. You! Betty!

I love(d) the L word dearly.

Some could even say obsessively and they wouldn't be wrong. At. All.

One of the reasons I believe that I became so obsessed with the L word last year was because of the amazing, cliff-hanging, season finale of last year. I had only seen a few episodes before the end of the season and that season finale was a fucking doozy. It was well-acted, well-written, well-shot. Thanks Tony Goldwyn! You've been the only consistent person working for this show! And as a guest star this season you still prove that you're a hottie way past Patrick Swayze. Though, you'd probably want to do him.

I digress.

This season finale? Would have been okay if was another episode. And even then too much time was given to performances. One of them being Betty, who, really? You've already performed once. A very blah speech by Gloria Steinem. Really? Did you write that yourself Gloria? Couldn't you have done better? Can I have your step-son's number? I've loved him for years. Especially in time for his premiere? Heart. I liked you, love some songs, but there isn't time in a season finale to fit you in. Especially all three of you. Especially after a random, unitelligble conversation with Betty members 'acting' and Gloria Steinem and most of the cast discussing what I believe are the relationships between lesbians and feminism. Really? In a season finale?

There aren't any real cliff-hangers. There was a fucking off-the-cuff jab from Tina to Bette about her affair, which Shortie and I were like "woah! Did she just say that?!?" We rewound. She did. Did we deal at all this season with them dealing with the affair? Nope. And now we just get some random fucking comment where they can semi-joke about it? Bullshit. Lazy fucking write Ilene. Lazy fucking writing.

Last season was an entire storyline about how Foxy Brown's son wouldn't talk to her or contact her and she was dying to see him. Last night? Arrives for the funeral and they are acting like any normal mother-son relationship. Lazy. Fucking. Lazy.

Jenny's back to being bat-shit crazy. Done. But not fun to watch. Not even good-bad to watch. Why? Also? Worst opening shot sequence ever. Well at least the most wasteful one to date.

The only thing I know is that I just am not sure if I care anymore. I mean it was sort of like, "meh. That was an okay episode." Not, I can't wait to fucking see what is going to happen next season.

There is one potential, and here me Ilene Chaiken.

If you kill of Tina, I will be absolutely livid and will refuse to watch the show. You will have effectively killed your show as you have every fucking redeemable tertiary character on this show. I will hate you with the burning passion of a thousand suns.

Don't. Fucking. Do. It.

No one is happy with this past season. I know you embrace the controversy, but there's a fine line between people having issues with the characters to actually not enjoying the show and fucking killing it.

Oh. And Betty? Stay the fuck away from the show. And stop ruining moments on the show by having words whispered. We're not fucking two-year olds. We. Get. It. I hope you're fired Elizabeth Ziff. Especially for the totally inappriateness of bastardizing 'Jewish' music and Jenny and the theme song even more. Learn some resepect.

Maybe I'll see you next year bitches. I don't even have the energy to end that with the exclamation point it deserves. I'm just too disappointed.

diet coke and traveling...

Diet Coke now has Splenda.

This is very exciting news. Splenda is better for you, and the best part is that it tastes a bit sweeter making it taste somewhat more akin to Cola Light of Europe. Which I'm fucking ob-sessed with. It's awesomely amazing. I know they can't release it here because it has some calories or whatever but it's so damn tas-tay.

Clearly Diet Coke with Splenda does not taste exactly the same, but it still tastes really good. I bought a case of it yesterday at CVS and was very pleased to see they already have it in cans. But not only does it taste really good, meaning it'll be a better mixer with alcohol, but Splenda will not kill you, or force you to lose your memory such that is the beauty of NutraSweet. So Stretch? There might still be some hope for you yet.

Picture it. Conn College early fall 2004. It's Stretch's 21st birthday. She's the most obsessed with Diet Coke, or you know, DC as she lovingly refers to it, out of any of us. What are a group of friends to do to make her birthday special?

Why buy 21 cases of DC and stack them up in her doorway in the morning, blocking her in her room.

Priceless.

Also? I would like to pimp today a very cool company. I was on SFist reading an interview with the creator of this travel company called Tango Diva which is all about providing women with information about traveling around the world alone. It's a pretty cool website, and totally something helpful for women. There is no need for women to not travel alone and safely, but it also provides other fun information such as a style, and a wellness section. I can't really do justice, but it's a kickin' website.

Happy Monday!

not that it matters, but...

When I first started my job I had a massive crush on one of my co-workers. It was bad. And embarassing because for the first few months that I worked there I didn't really talk to anyone at my job except for the people on my project. I was pretty much resigned to being friends with the controlling lady on my team, who I should have realized wasn't even liked by my boss. I mean I just thought that she was cool for giving me tips on playing solitaire because she played it all the time.

I should have known better.

Luckily the holiday party happened and I started talking to more of the people. I mean there were other people that I chit-chatted with, but nobody that was young enough.

Anyway soon I was talking to Big Office Crush. Nothing outstanding in the sense that we were becoming best friends, but you know a 'hey.' I LIVED for those heys. Let me tell you. I would plan my day around how many times I could walk by his office to get a hey. Or how many times I could invite hime outside for a smoke, or have him invite me outside for a smoke.

I lived for those smokes. I was seriously fucking smitten.

I decided to move on because, well, it was the good thing to do because it was moving from good office crush to emotional or whatnot. I did. I mean I still thought he was cute and adorable. Because not only is BOC cute, he is the best flirter ever, though I don't think he knows that he is. He also doesn't realize how smokin' hot he is either. I thought at first he was being modest but Krazy Ko-worker was all, no, seriously he doesn't think he's good looking. Tragic.

I moved my affections on to the disease TB, and BOC moved offices to around the corner.

It's BOC's birthday on Sunday. He had his party slash massive happy-hour last night. I think it shows how far I've moved on when I was like, well I guess I'll go for the first section of the happy hour but not the $20 for 3 hours of alcohol at the club. And let me just say that it's not rail. So there McFadden's!!!

I started at the happy hour and BOC was surrounded by his harem of lady co-workers. It's crazy that they are all female. And pretty much all of them are attractive. i seriously wasn't going to go, but then CHC was all, let's go. Granted after 3 G&T's, but still.

CHC was in rare form last night. She was fucking hilarious. She has this funny obsession with saying that someone has licked their teeth at her. Especially lesbians. Yeah. I don't know. But last night one of COB's co-workers was an obvious trendy butch-dyke and CHC was all, let's make her want us and make her think we're lesbians so she insisted on linking arms whilst walking towards the club. She's fucking mental, but I love her. She also sat down with a group of boys for like an hour after we got there and I finally pulled her away. She was all, Thank YOU, I couldn't think of what to say to get away. She totally should have sat down with the young David Beckham look alike with his girlfriend.

I digress. I can fill more fun stories later.

The main point is that last night BOC was very, very, friendly and hands-y and it was awesome. Like the constant arm around the shoulder and hugs. It was fucking awesome, but probably a good thing that I don't have a crush on him because I would have died.

But he's still sooo fucking attractive that to have him be hands-y is still hot.

Sigh.

the PERFECT way to procrastinate

Okay. So I've heard about all the awesome things that the new Google maps can do. Seriously.

I was reading sfist today and they were talking about how people are fusing technologies together for putting personal pictures up with addresses for flickr and other cool stuff. Plus there was this guy who fused maps with craigslist apartment listings together which is pretty much an awesome way to look for an apartment in the city you live in.

For some reason I was inspired to just look at the maps and play with the cool satellite thing. After a few kinks...you should really look in map mode first, because sometimes putting an address in is a little tricky, and it's kind of fun to look around, click to satellite.

It's the MOST addictive thing ever. I started putting in my childhood addresses. My middle school. My current apartment. Which is funny because part of it is blurred because it shows a governmental thing...trying to not be specific about where I live here people.

Or my college, which I believe is because of the nuclear plant, or whatever that plant was up the river. But doesn't it look just lovely! Right.

So. Much. Fun.

Do it.

Try it out. Hours of endless fun!

damn. you. pmf!

PMF was nice enough to send me a free CD sampler thing after she came to visit. I believe mostly because she loved this one CD that I got for free and so I gave it to her since she preferred it over me. And, of course because, you know, I'm awesome.

Anyway, this CD has been pretty awesome. It's gotten me up in the morning. It peps me up with the punk and rock. I'm not sure where she got it, but it fucking rocks.

The reason I'm cursing her? I'm now in love with new bands. Songs that I'm obsessed with, so I want to hear more, and this probably means I'm going to be buying CDs.

So damn you PMF, DAMN YOU!!!

Making me spend more money.

So, I might as well pimp while I can. The band The Stills, very cool, especially their song "Still in Love." They're on the same label as Bloc Party, who are being touted as the new indie band. It's a little ridiculous. And the Panthers.

stellastarr* is another band on the CD.

Damn you PMF! I hope you're happy!

so this is what is happening in the world?

Jesus Christ can't get a driver's licensce, and he's been living this whole time in DC?

Seriously? This is big news for CNN? Seriously? A crazy, crazy man somehow legally changes his name, and West Virginia of all places won't give him one. Really? I would think West Virginia would be the first.

Though I do have to fucking love that last line, "Christ is not talking to the press right now." Bloody brilliant.

Also, you might want to check out glaciers while you can because they're going to be gone soon. Man, I remember when school field trips would be to go check out the glaciers in high school. I guess that will be ending soon.

See, this is why I don't like hot weather.

And why I hope to be dead when California finally breaks off from the US as is pretty much predicted.

you tell them arianna!

Arianna Huffington is the fucking coolest.

Though they totally wasted her breath on the fucking L word this season. But still she exuded class and hotness saying her poorly written lines. I need a special button or something for this, but thanks for ruining another fucking moment Ilene Chaiken.

Back to the best, she's awesome in this little rant about DeLay.

he can't seem to pick a team

Shortie sent me to a blog today, that is actually quite fun. It seems to consist of this person just posting pictures of celebs with a few funny comments.

Enjoyable. And clearly what I should be doing at work, when I'm already behind.

I guess I'm still trying to get back into work with everything of the semester ending up. Just one last mini assignment that I'm doing tonight.

Yay!!

Back to the original though, on the blog it had pictures of Cletus Fed. in his Italian L'Uoumo magazine shoot. Because, you know, they couldn't buy more than a details cover for him here in the US.

Anyway, it toally reminded me of when I was talking to one of my friends and we were discussing the whole Brit and Cletus marriage and how fucking awful it was and that he was obviously trashy.

Her response? He switches up his baseball caps and so he obviously doesn't have any real allegiance to one team.

This is what bothered her.

I couldn't stop laughing when she said that.

And just aas an FYI, she's a die hard, die hard Red Sox fan.

actually realizing a moment.

Now it could be the alcohol talking...CBF emailed me at work today and he was all, "Are we drinking or what?" I'll explain more some other time, but we have dates over the phone sometimes conerning drinking. I know it sounds weird, but sometimes it's the closest we can get to hanging out.

The first time was actually the summer after graduation. He was still at out our college doing a summer job and I was home and unemployed, and very unhappy living in hickville, CA. I had leftover vanilla vodka, which had JUST made an appearance onto the scene. He...well I'm not sure what he had. Other new thing on the scene? Vanilla coke.

I started by making those, and then by the end, and having run out of vanilla coke, we were actually doing shots over the phone. Countdown and everything. By the time my mom got home I was pretty much drunk. We were playing songs over the phone, read: blasting them over the phone for each other, and dancing around my living room. My mom? Less than impressed but because she's the greatest didn't actually say anything.

I digress.

As I was putting ice in my glass to then pour coffee over, so I can get halfway through this final, I suddenly was hit with the, wow, I can't believe I've been complaining about the work I have to do at the end of the semester. I should still be thankful, and I am really, that I got into my program. It's a rather selective program, and with everyone going to grad school now, I realize that I'm pretty fucking lucky that I got into my program and that I'm actually getting a master's in something. That I got into any program, and thankfully one with some sort of name attached. You're pretty much screwed nowadays if you don't have a higher degree, and wow am I thankful.

So this post is to take back everything I've bitched about lately concerning work. I really am thankful, and I should even be thankful that I do have something to bitch about. I'm getting my master's and I'm excited. Who knew I'd ever go to grad school? Not I.

Thank goodness. I love you grad school.

shortie's fucking famous!

Okay, so the -ist blogs are picking up steam. Personally? I'm obsessed. I don't just check the DC one. I look at Boston, San Francisco, NY, London, LA, and sometimes the remaining two cities when I'm a little bored. I figure I have connections to the cities I check daily, so of course I want to know what's going on. Plus? There are definitely some cool articles. So, okay, the one city I like to read but have never been to is Chicago, but I've always wanted to go!

Either way? These city blogs are cool, funny, and I think they're really building up their viewership.

Last week, our very own dcist wrote about Art Blogging and right here and how it is essentially the new wave of art critquing. And? Guess what? At then end of the article they chose local blogs that they think are interesting concerning the art scene. Shortie's was in there.

Fucking awesome!

survival, pt. 1

I didn't make it to Shortie's show unfortunately. This is probably a good thing as I would have probably collapsed. Unfortunately? I wanted to do an assigment this evening that I didn't finish in class because I was too exhausted for finishing my paper.

That's right. I finished my paper.

I'm done with 202!

Awesome!!!!!!!!!

It hasn't sunken in yet, and I still feel lame because it's fucking Cinco de Mayo and I'm tired as get out and can't be drinking.
Sigh. I think I'll have a silver bullet and go to sleep.

Be at work on time.

I know. Who would think, right?

One more assignment and a take-home.

It's almost done!

"No More Hiroshimas! No More Nagasakis!"

Location: Martin Luther King, Jr. Library
901 G Street, NW,Washington,DC
When: Thursday, May 5, 6:30pm to 8:00pm


I can't go, but anyone who can, should. I might even try and stop by after class though I shouldn't, and the fact that I'm still awake at this hour is a sign I'm going to be dead.

If anything, there should be free wine.

what were you thinking tivo?

Because TiVo hates me, it didn't record America's Next Top Model tonight.

I was actually powernapping so I didn't realize it wasn't recording. What did it record instead? Some old crappy Friends episodes. I mean I love Friends, but I love ms so America's Next Top Model.

It's a fucking AWESOME reality show. It's pretty much the best guilties pleasure out there. I was able to get both B and Stretch to love it. But it didn't last because neither of them watch it now, but then both don't really watch tv.

One of the worst parts? From briefly looking at the forums at TWoP it looks like I missed some awesome snarkiness. Which is part of the reason it's such an awesome show. Plus laughing at how stupid some of these girls are is awesome. In last week's episode almost all of the contestants had to ask what aloof was. Aloof.

I weep for the public education of America.

The one redeeming part? I can read both the recap and recaplet by the awesome Potes, who, I think this might be the wrong thing to be posting on a public blog, but CBF and I think she might be one of the funniest people ever, and when we went to Rhode Island, we might have thought about going to a lesbian bar to try and meet her...but those are dark hours people. CBF even emailed her and was all, so..what are fun places to go in Providence? Any wonder she didn't respond? I wouldn't have. Seriously though, I love her. Plus the recapper for the L word. Like witty enough that you're like, yeah I'd date you even though I don't swing that way. Or. I think it's more like you want to be their best and closest friends. Hmm...it's hard explaining the love.

Stretch called tonight, and I was like, guess what's actually playing right now? Come Undone. She wasn't familiar with the song so I held the phone up to the speakers.

"Oh, of COURSE I know that song. Easy lisening station. In fact? I think it might be broadcast live from your living room!"

Everyones a fucking comedian.

come undone

I have my multiple obsessions. To extrapolate on the different areas of my life where this is indeed the case would take too much time.

Even i know that this would not be a good idea right now.

For some reason though I'm obsessed with Duran Duran's "Come Undone." I mean I like Duran Duran just fine, and I am obsessed with multiple songs. Usually I'll listen to them on repeat for a few days and move on to a new one.

Every time the song pops up on my random on iTunes, I have to stop, turn the music up, and end up playing the song again. And. Usually again.

I love it.

going back over to the dark side.

For reasons unknown, I used to have a massive celebrity crush on Chad Michael Murray. Sigh. I know.

Then about two years ago these rumours started that he was dating Hilary Duff, which totally fucking squicky because he was 20 and she was 15 at the time. I guess comparatively that her current boyfriend is 25 and she's still underage it doesn't really fucking matter, but at the time I was pretty much at my peak in antipathy for the Duff. I still dislike her, but it doesn't physically bother me anymore. I think that could be because I really don't watch the Disney channel anymore and yeah...we're moving right along.

After the rumours did break, and granted I partly believed them, and even if they weren't true, it seemed they were awfully chummy and I'm pretty sure he called her intelligent in one interview, which, just, no. Now this didn't change the fact that I thought CMM was smouldering hot. Wouldn't you know it? The WB gave him his own show, AND from the promos it actually looked intersting. And? Proven at this point that he wasn't dating the Duff. I would also like to point out that my crush on the pretty CMM began before most of America under 13 suddenly took notice.

So...I started watching this show on the WB. It actually was pretty good. And? Amazingly enough it was being recapped for TWoP, which was even fucking better. His acting, now that he was getting more time, proved that it really wasn't that good, but overall the show was pretty solid. Plus, some pretty good music. More indie than say Howie Day on Summerland.

OTH broke for a hiatus with this awesome cliffhanger episode. Somehow when the show came back it was pretty much crap. I was still having C tape it, but I was fast-forwarding for the most part. Fast-forward to this fall, and I just wasn't watching. I read those little synopsis things on the website, but even TWoP dropped it as a show. I read the forums there though and people generally discussed how it was crap. My CFO kept on asking if I was watching, but I wasn't because I was watching Veronica Mars. Which I can say is the best new show of the season, and I don't even care what genre you are talking about. It's fucking brilliant, and the acting is out of this world too. Watch it. It was barely picked up by UPN, and yes, I know, UPN, but it's smart it's got jaw-dropping moments...I can't say enough.

I'm not sure what happened, I think my CFO heckled me enough, and Veronica Mars was on this fucking long sabbatical, so I started to watch snippets of OTH. Then? There was the episode before their sabbatical, and it was one of those ones where you're like, no way! And of course there was this awesome Ryan Adams song during the montage which clinched it for me.

I feel like I need to stand up.

Hi. My name is Karen. And I'm watching One Tree Hill again. And I'm enjoying it. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to fixing your problem.

i don't know what's sadder...

The fact that the person who lives in the apartment across from the courtyard is watching the Disney channel program "Phil of the Future," or the fact that I can recognize it across the courtyard on a small TV after only a minute or so?

i'm showtime's bitch

Showtime might just be the death of me. Or more aptly put, may be the death of my graduate career.

I'm officially Showtime's bitch.

There is most obviously the L word. Then it introduced me to Queer as Folk. It made me stay up last semester way past my bedtime with my first viewing of Rodger Dodger, which, is a fucking brilliant movie. With a rather genius cast. Then it gave us the little gem of Fat Actress.

Sure at times offerings are uneven, but there is no other network that will provide such fabulous gay fare, and the indie films as well. It's not HBO, but I have stronger allegiances now with the programs on Showtime.

You might ask why am I bringing this up now? As I was channel surfing briefly while having a snack, and now with TiVo this is a rarer incidence, I found the channel was playing "Cutting Edge" which is one of my all time favourite movies.

The bright white lighting, the obvious cheap ass budget, the poor attempt at showing ice skating, all made awesome by Moira Kelley and my boyfriend at the time D.B. Sweeney. What a hottie at the time. Time in fact as not been well to him, but damn is he adorable in this role. In fact, Moira Kelley made out with two of my high school crushes, the other being Brendan Fraser at the time of "With Honors."

So now of course I have to have the movie on in the background because I can't ever not watch it because it's rarely on, much less so without the commercials and not on Oxygen.

Speaking of which, was playing "Out of Sight" at the same time, and is another movie that I fucking love, and actually have been meaning to watch for days. A brilliant adaption of an Elmore Leonard novel. Somehow George Clooney and J.Lo fucking sizzle and pretty much make the movie.

Must get back to my movie.

seriously. what am i doing?

Things I do when I get totally stressed out?

Okay, so I've posted about the procrastination problem. So yes, if that was your answer, it is indeed the overarching theme. Last week it was specifically looking for a rehearsal dinner necklace, which begat a search for my 'every day' necklace. Sigh. Hours wasted. Though at least it ended in CBF buying me an awesome and totally unneccesary necklace. I love CBF.

Not only though do I procrastinate with work, but coupled with stress I have a spending problem. Especially when I don't really have money to be spending on actually buying things. The wedding is pushing me into the red, and I can't stop myself from spending money. Like, "hey, I don't have it anyway, might as well see how close I can go to actually having a negative number in my bank account!" So all three factors of stress, procrastination, and not having money are really a massive force of behaviour to deal with.

Tonight? It's buying albums on iTunes. It began with looking for singles that I wanted to buy. One of which is Howie Day's "Collide." The problem is that he has an exclusive album on iTunes where the song, Collide, which I wanted to buy also has an acoustic version which you can only get with the album. So then I listened a little and was about to buy it. Then I decided not to because it seemed too mainstream for me. For some reason, I have real disdain currently for 'mainstream' radio songs.

Then I was like, well if I'm going to buy an album I should buy an album I've been thinking about for awhile. Especially since I couldn't think of just one song that I wanted. So I then spent like 20 minutes between two Cure albums. They both had 18 songs, they both had like the 6 major songs that I wanted. There were like 3 differences.

Difficult. Time Consuming Choices.

Sigh.

At least I have a kicking new Cure album.

losing it

Okay, so there is one reason why I'm not jealous of iPod people. I've actually been warning CBF about not using is iPod on the subway to NY when he gets there because I've been reading reports about so many thefts.

If anyone stole my minidisc player I'd be like, "watch out, it skips when you walk!" If someone steals your iPod that's some serious fucking damage there. I mean that shit is like your baby, if you have it stolen you chase after it. If you're being chased and you drop it? You better run back and pick that bad boy up.

Fuck personal health, replacement costs are a bitch.

hey fucker!

You! Yes YOU! And no, I don't mean to partially quote a Ben Lee album.

When you're like 11 and on the metro for vacation with 5 of your other buddies on the metro in the middle of the day simmer down!

Not only that, but I fucking hope someone steals your damn iPod mini. No one your age should have a fucking iPod mini.

Not only are you too young to have one, you and your badly behaved friends are fucking annoying.

Why are you wearing pirate hats that look like you bought them on Pirates of the Carribean at Disneyland?

Also? You might think you look punk wearing your aviator glasses on the metro, but you look a fucking fool.

Finally? Learn the rules of metro. You're being loud and rambuncious on the metro, such as your tool of a friend using the higher bar to do one-armed pull-ups is embarassing. Not. Cool.

Why are there so many tourists going to Smithsonian at noon?

Why does a fucking 11 year-old have an iPod?

the more things change...wait, they don't

Once a procrastinator. ALWAYS a procrastinator. I think I fully have Stretch's support on this one. I don't know how I always end up this way, but I'm looking forward to the end of the semester.

And a break in the summer from school work. It'll be awesome.

Now I just have to decide which actual classes I am going to take. I've signed up for multiple, and all, or many sound interesting so I just need to whittle the choices down.

What's really odd about this sudden burst of blogging is how I've been rather inactive lately, and now that I should be typing about anything but this blog, I'm all about posting suddenly.

How sweet things stay the same.

more fun porn findings!

This is actually getting to be fun. I mean obviously not being at work this late...especially since I'll miss the beginning of AI but whatever.

‘Watcha Gonna Do when they Cum all Over you?’What Police Themes in Male Erotic Video Reveal …

Looking for my penis: The eroticized Asian in gay video porn

A Star Is Porn: Corpulence, Comedy, and the Homosocial Cult of Adult Film Star Ron Jeremy (who I secretly think is totally fascinating)

The Joy Fuck Club: Prolegomenon to an Asian American Porno Practice

Sex pigs: why porn is like sausage, or the truth is that--behind the scenes--porn is not very sexy.

WHEN JILL JACKS IN Queer women and the Net

Okay...and because it is google scholar, there are lots of actual studies.

It's the small things though. The small things.

gay male porn searches

So...part of the literature search I'm doing for my final paper has to do with gay male porn.

In an ironic twist, B., had no qualms about the shoes for her bridesmaids' whatsoever. It a not so suprising leap, both B's sister and the groom's sister did. We all had to wear the same shoes. This is a problem because

a) I have massive feet, which is direct opposition to Shortie's midget feet. Like seriously? You see her shoes and you're like, are those owned by small people? Teeny, tiny, teeny people! Okay, so that's referencing Kirstie Alley's show, which? Sometimes fucking brilliant and hilarious. Finding shoes that fit my feet is a difficult task. Usually department stores don't carry my size, and only fucking Payless carries my shoe size. And usually in really ugly styles too, but I do with what I can. And. Online stores, but that takes thought into buying your shoes. And a massive amount of time.

So. Limiting.

b) I'm pretty tall, so I refused to have a high heel. There's a picture of B, her sister, and I right before we're about to go to a nice dinner and I'm wearing, like, 3 inch heels TOPS, maybe less, and I'm fucking towering, towering!, over both of them. It's a pretty horrible picture, and I expressed that under no fucking means was I going to be that person in the wedding photos. This I believe was more of an issue/sticking point because it was more limiting for the ladies.

There was a flurry of emails. B.'s sister wanted one type, Groom's sis wanted another. We were all supposed to find ones, and forward them. We'd almost decide, and then either sister would be like, well what about these?

In the beginning I wanted closed-toe, just because I have weird toes too. What? So would you with massive feet.

So at one point though, B's sister sent out shoes that I didn't really like, I have forgotten at this point why...oh, the heel. Totally forgot. So to diffuse the situation, because these are dangerous times people, I decided to use a little levity in why I couldn't wear them.

I actually found an out. In formal I wear size 12, and so I was all, "well you know since I'm a Saskatchewan they won't fit my feet..."

Which, when I told CBF, he busted out laughing. He pointed out that I probably meant Sasquatch. Yeah. Of course I then felt totally embarassed.

First google finding in google scholar with gay and pornography?

Saskatchewan Law Review, 1993

Awesome. It's come back to haunt me.

caffeine count

Yesterday's caffeine count was rather high. I mean if I'm composing entries about Coffeemate? There must be a certain amount added. Which, and it could be due to the amount of stress, but I woke up with about 5 hours of sleep, and before my alarm went off. Weird. Which of course I then slept through. You can't waste those 5 minutes when you're just getting them.

So, yesterday:

2 cups of crappy office coffee...well there might have been a third in there

2 diet mountain dews...totally guzzled before class too

1 large mug of strong coffee at 11 p.m.

Oh. And 2 Silver Bullets when I first got home to try and combat that fabu panic attack, which? Well founded I find out.

Awesome.

Don't judge the Silver Bullet lifestyle. They're still left-over from when Stretch was visiting, and sometimes? It's all we can afford. It's a band-aid.

I need a cigarette.

emotion and no sleep are no good

It turns out that a lack of sleep might aid you in having a panic attack.

I pretty much had my first full on panic attack tonight, which, I'm suprised a little that it took this long. I might have had near panic attacks, but this is I think the first full on one...which I might still be in the midst of slightly.

I think it started with clearly the general stress of ending the semester and oversleeping today and finding my boss in my office as I walked in late, talking on the phone as if he owned the place. It was more than a little scary. I figured that he was there in case I came in and wanted to listen to the conference call that I was missing.

When awesome big boss man of the place was like, I'm sure this makes sense somehow...seeing as I was seated across from him, my personal big boss man was all, my phone isn't working.

Makes sense. Except potentially not because there is another whole office that he can use where two part-time people share it, and they weren't going to be coming in. He probably felt I was closest and...didn't care. Another co-worker afterwards was all, what was BBM doing in your office? I thought you quit, or you know...getting fired. I thought we were going to have to do an intervention and I went to C's office and she wasn't there either. I was like, well, thanks for watching my back, and no, I don't think I'll be getting fired.

I don't really want to go into detail of what spurned everything, but let's just say that's not really how you want to start your Monday morning.

how you know...

that you've had way, way, way, way too much strong coffee at too quickly late at night?

You're dancing around your apartment, okay, studio, to your iTunes library because it's filled at least half full with electronic music, in your socks, enjoying the slide on the parkay floor.

I know. Parkay sucks.

And I should totally be fucking doing my reading, but I'm MUCH too wired right now.

Shite.

does coffeemate scare anyone else?

Junior year I was introduced to Coffeemate creamer by CBF's family. I went home with him for Thanksgiving, and for the first time to his house. [And on a side note, this past weekend it felt like we were dating the most since we made out.] Digression. Anyway, in the morning there was the good coffee and then there was this liquid hazelnut creamer. I clearly had seen that nasty powdered shit that doesn't have any flavouring previously. I had never seen coffeemate creamer in a carton that looked like milk was supposed to come out of it. I added some to my coffee and a relationship was born.

It was fucking amazing. Granted I had been drinking dining hall coffee and on the rare occassion the goodness that IS Dunkin' Donuts. But this was still the time where most friends, okay, CBF who I essentially lived with Junior year, didn't have his car and so getting off campus was difficult. I was absolutely delighted that this creamer made my coffee taste like it had actually come from DD's.

Okay. So I was a little stupid because at first I thought it was his mother's mad coffee making skills. He pointed out it was the creamer. I was enamored. I was convinced this would make all my coffee in college that much better when I was up late at night and couldn't get off campus. Clearly, I had to get to the grocery store to get it, and well, I never did.

I even introduced my mother to the creamer that spring break when I was visiting. She still damns me for introducing it to her. Previously she was just adding milk. We were talking on the phone at some point recently and she was annoyed because she was all, I can't believe they didn't have the mocha flavoured creamer! They had run out! What was she going to put into her coffee!?!?! I pointed out that it was because it was Stater Bros., which is the sub-par supermarket. And that, you know, she could add milk. There was this HUGE fight between Albertson's which is the far superior supermarket and it's workers because they wanted health insurance or something. It turned into about a year-long debacle before it was resolved. My mom wanted to support them, and so was going to Stater's which it's worker lovingly refer to as Slaver Bros.

I'm not a morning person whatsoever, and so I don't have time to make coffee in the morning. My coffee maker that CBF got me doesn't have fancy adjustments to make coffee so it's ready for you in the morning and so I usually vie for the nasty free coffee at work. This past year with work and grad school I've started making coffee at night to keep me awake for all the work I have to do. Last semster was especially ugly. The coffee even was really ugly. I mean I was making fucking sludge.

There were grinds in the coffee.

The coffee was so bitter it would hurt my mouth and stomach.

The only thing that slightly helped was my lovely Coffeemate, and even then I still had to guzzle it in order to consume it.

The scary part? Sometimes I still fell asleep.

It's gotten to that point in the semester where I'm making coffee at night again. Stronger each day in fact. It's also time to whip out the CM again, because I want it to be able to go down somewhat enjoyably. The problem is that I bought creamer ages ago. From Giant no less.

The Giant where you can buy overdue food. The Giant where the lights outside don't really light up. It's abso-fucking-lutely ghetto but it seems closer than Safeway, and less of a hassle than going to the Social Safeway. If I had to gander when I bought the creamer, I would say earliest, February. Beginning of.

The creamer? It's still good. All three of them. One I know I must have bought in January. One is even good until June 1st. The others are good until mid-may. So hey. If the bottle stamp says it, it must be true. I'm adding that shit to my coffee.

The question? What the fuck is in the creamer that it can be 'good' for months? It's like the fucking twinkie of the liquid world, and that really scares me.

bourbon and the l

So...this past season of the L word, and it's really going to hurt me more than it will hurt the people at the show, has been, well...blah. Some episodes have been pretty good, and there have still been some enjoyable jems of songs.

And then? There's fucking Betty. The plethora of scenes where Betty and 'ezgirl,' who is the lead singer of Betty and music composer this season, ruin a scene with the fucking background music and noises. It grates to no end. You know what else grates? The fact that she obviously has no fucking talent in that she recycles her theme song different ways for each episode. If it's crap to begin with, why do you want to continue with it? Like the the theme song sung in french during one of the dream sequences, or in spanish during the Spanish titled episode? It's heavy-handed and unimaginative. It sounds like crap, and the lyrics are crap.

If some of the storylines are going to be contrived, long-winded, and boring, then keep with the awesome music. It makes time go by much more quickly. Plus, when there is so much fucking distracting background noise it takes you out of the episode. Case in point, Jenny's sitting on the steps explaining to Carmen that she lost her job because she 'outed' herself, and can you imagine what might be playing in the background? If you guessed a voice, most likely Ms. Ziff's herself, chanting 'lesbian' over and over again, you'd win some cash. Or you know, just in case while watching a sex scene, you didn't actually quite get that these characters were having sex and you know, enjoying themselves, we'll add some moaning.

I hate you Betty. I don't care that you're hometown products. You fucking suck. Especially you Elizabeth Ziff. Yes. That's right. I'm not going to address you by your fucking 'composer' name. Oh? And why do you all keep on popping up in throwaway cameos post your actual appearance performing in the episode. Which sucked. Though, when Miss Foxy Brown Herself was singing with you all, it was pretty cool. Most likely because it wasn't your song.

Things that make slow episodes go by much more quickly? Bourbon. I love bourbon. I mean I've been a vodka girl from the get go, and I'll never leave the vodka. But pretty much any time I drink bourbon it's a fucking ecstatic buzz. I don't know how that happens. So Shortie came by yesterday to catch up on all the 'lost' episodes that I've fast-forwarded through because I was bored with them. Bourbon makes the episodes go by much quicker. As does company who you can commiserate with about the awfulness that is the music and slightly the season.

You know what else The Bourbon can do? Plot and Plan. The action? Shortie's friends with the people who work at Lambda Rising, which I coincidentally learned today was around back in the beginning of the day when GLAAD was first beginning, and the workers stood outside Lambda and begged for donations. That's pretty cool. I'm in love with GLAAD and totally want to work there in a kick ass position. I digress. The plan? We're going to place a petition by the cash register to Boot Betty and mail it to Ms. Ilene Chaiken herself. Or, you know, Showtime.

Action people. We're not going to just sit at home and complain about how awful it is!

Though...if they, and by they I mean Ms. 'I'm too Hollywood and so I broke up with my partner and quelle fucking suprise since I essentially wrote it into the script for my alter-ego' Chaiken, find out...would they have the power to take away my Showtime, and my L word? Because I know I'm not strong enough to live without them.

It's like having a coke habit (because as Ms. Houston says, crack is wack, so don't be trying that crack), you're addicted, you know it, and you don't necessarily even enjoy it that much anymore, but you have to have it. Even when I'm fast-forwarding through, I know that if I wasn't at least seeing it I'd be going through withdrawal. It's a slippery slope people.

A Fucking. Slippery. Slope.

Sign the petition people.

jinx?

I guess mentioning that my blog was dead, led it to be dead.

Damn you! Blogger!

Today? Not so good. Too much empathy for a friend going through a very, stressful slash rough spot. Stressed me out. One of my traits that I hate about myself. Can't I just listen and advice without actually feeling stress and sometimes ill with worry about that person? Empathy is overrated sometimes.

not dead yet

I could be talking about this blog.

I could also be talking about my beautiful, wonderful, and well...dead-ish computer.

The backlight to my wonderful PowerBook blew this weekend. We're talking about a 6 month old computer. We're also talking about serious fucking crunch time in term time. The term ends at the beginning of May and I have a massive amount of writing to do until then and my laptop is going to be gone for two weeks.

At least that's what the dickwad at the Genius Bar told me. He was so fucking flippant that I wanted to slap him. Plus he was helping me and this other girl at the same time. It's like dude, I know you might be trying to show off, but I think it would indeed more expedient if you were to one of us at once rather than doing both of us at the same time. He also didn't seem to really care that my computer backlight blew.

He tried to do the reset move, and then realized that my screen still wasn't showing. His very serious and professional assessment? "Your backlight is blown." No. Fucking. Kidding. I know! He seemed flummoxed. He then had the audacity to look at my computer and ask if I dropped it.

Hello!?! McFly!!! I still have the cushioning styrofoam on the inside and there are no scratches. I treat that computer better than I would a newborn baby. There are Rules Dammit! for everyone, plus me, in getting near my computer and using it as well. I was a little indignant in my response and he looked like he didn't believe me. Dickwad.

He then asked if I bought it from them. "Yes." Did you buy it from this store? "Yes!" Fix my damn computer! It's Apple's fault. Not mine.

Then Genius Bar Boy was all, so, you know that your computer is going to be blank when you get it back right? You're going to be okay with that? What?!? No! I was so pissed. I was like, um, I have my songs and my school documents and Office and everything. He was like, okay so you'll probably want to back that up. Of course to the tune of 50 dollars. Sons of fucking bitches.

Dear Apple,

I love you. I do. You're pretty. You're ususally reliable, and I did pay an arm and a leg to get extra insurance this past weekend. Thanks for those extra $245...it better be worth it. But seriously? Charging for backing up data? Assholish. Hiring dickwads who think they're all that? You might want to cut back on that.
Thanks.

Your concerned customer,

Karen